Page 127 of Faeling
Ravenna lifted her head to better see him. He offered a conciliatory grin that didn’t reach his eyes. Oh, her poorazaiwashurting. He might have said she had a soft, vulnerable heart, but, really, it was his that was softest.
Laying her hand over that vulnerable muscle, she whispered, “I’m sorry you had to do it at all. It can’t have been easy.”
“Yes and no. Eliminating a threat, especially to you, is as easy as breathing. It’s the thoughts afterwards that are harder to bear.”
“I can understand that.” Her life these last few days had been dominated by such thoughts. “You did what had to be done, and you prove your conviction by being the one to carry out the sentence.”
He rumbled with perhaps agreement, perhaps placation. “Let’s just hope this is the last execution for a while.”
Ravenna nodded, her insides twisting. He looked tired, too, the weight of the execution heaviest now, in the hours just afterwards. It troubled her to see his conscience gnawing at him, but, then, would she love him so much if it didn’t? For as big and brutal as he could be, Vallek Far-Sight could never be accused of not caring.
How anyone could doubt him,betrayhim…
Burying his face in her hair, Vallek sighed. “Tell me again, sprite.”
“Tell you what?” she asked, although her stomach flipped with anticipation.
“Tell me who has your love and loyalty.”
Ravenna flushed. Fates, she hadn’t quite meant to admit her feelings like that, in front of the whole court,beforeVallek. Her instinct was to tease, to say,The people, of course, just like I said,but another peek at his handsome face told her now wasn’t the moment for banter.
He was hurting and needed the words.
“You do,” she said softly, nuzzling his nose with hers.
A sumptuous purr hummed beneath her hands on his chest. “Again.”
Setting her lips at his ear so only he could hear, she whispered, “I love you, Vallek.”
His purr deepened as he lifted her a little higher in his arms. Burying his face in the crook of her shoulder, he kissed her bare skin and rubbed his tusks along her clavicle.
“The gods have blessed me with you,” he murmured. “Tested me, too.”
Ravenna tried to grin at his good humor but couldn’t manage. Her own regrets and fears ate her inside, his gentleness and affection only feeding them.
Her stomach threatened revolt when he said, “You have my heart, sprite. I love you so much, it sometimes feels too great to bear.”
Tears escaped her eyes, and no matter how quickly she blinked and tried to hide them, Vallek soon smelled the salt. Straightening, he frowned to see her upset. His purr took on a plaintive note, his big hand cupping her cheek to wipe away the tears.
“Why do you cry?” he asked, concern burgeoning in his eyes. “Please don’t cry.”
Ravenna shook her head; she couldn’t help it. Everything was coming out of her, she could feel it.
She stood upon a precipice, teetering on the edge. She would fall in just a moment, she knew it, couldn’t bear to be torn in two anymore.
But the thought of losing him, of being cast aside, hurt morethan anything. She clung to that precipice with her fingers and toes for fear of being parted from herazai. I can’t lose him. I can’t I can’t.
This was why she’d not wanted to love him in the first place. Why she had wasted three years in her disguise. The moment she’d dreaded since she first walked into his tent had come. Her shame pressed at the small of her back, urging her forward, off the edge. For all she’d fought it, belayed it, tried to avoid it, there was nothing for it now.
She couldn’t walk two paths. She couldn’t be the halfling girl and the faeling queen.
After this moment, she feared she’d be neither.
Don’t leave me, too.
Clutching at the embroidered collar of his tunic, she could hear the desperation in her voice when she said, “Remember you love me. Remember that when—” She choked on more tears, and Vallek’s expression grew alarmed.
Taking her face between both big hands, he held her steady. “Breathe, sprite. Whatever it is, it’s all right.”
