Page 128 of Faeling
“But it’s not, it’s not,” she sobbed. “I’m not who you think.”
She grasped at his wrists, holding him to her, so he had to nod at the guards to send them away. They filed out, no doubt taking up positions just on the other side of the thresholds, but within a few moments, they were as alone in the basilica as they ever could be.
“I know who you are,” he said slowly, “but why don’t you tell me yourself.”
Through gasps and sobs, she finally admitted, “I’m a liar. I’ve lied to you, Vallek. I’veusedyou.”
He regarded her seriously for a moment. “I’d be moresurprised if you hadn’t, love. I never once thought you joined my staff for altruistic reasons.”
“But it’s more than that.” She’d been naïve to think that when she made her deal with him, dirty and bloodied in that shallow cave, she could have it both ways. She made that deal thinking it justified her capitulation. The simple truth was, she wanted him, wanted to be his mate. She still did. Perhaps more than she wanted her revenge. “Everything I’ve done, it’s been to strengthen your position as king, so that one day, the orcs would be strong enough to attack the faelands.”
If possible, his expression became even more grave. Ravenna kneaded his tunic, desperate for him to say something.
He kept his silence, though, waiting for more truth.
“My parents died protecting me. They were slain by Amaranthe herself, refusing to give me up to her.”
“Why?” he asked, ominously quiet.
“Because of my gift. Seers are rare, even within the fae. And—” she gulped down air “—I saw her downfall. I was only a child. No one should have believed me, but the vision spread through the faelands.”
“Would killing you thwart your vision?”
“No. I don’t know.” She shook her head until she was dizzy. “I haven’t cared. Since they were slain, all I’ve wanted, all I’ve worked for is vengeance.”
“You want to kill the Fae Queen.”
“Yes.”
“The one who slaughtered her own family and has ruled for twelve-hundred years.”
“Yes.” Sensing he meant to speak more, dreading what he’d say, she hurriedly added, “I’ve seen her fall. I know it willhappen. I know I can make it happen.” Ravenna clutched his tunic so tight, her knuckles went white. “She killed my parents, Vallek. She destroyed my whole world. She has to pay for that. I have to make her pay for that.”
“With an orcish army.”
“Yes. No. Not anymore. I don’t know. But I have to do this.”
Her stomach clenched as she watched him nod slowly.
“I understand,” he said. “We will—”
“No!” she gasped. “I can’t bear to risk your life, too.”
He frowned at her wording, no doubt catching thattoo. Before he could question it, she said, “It’s not fair of me—it’s not right or fair—but in the end, I wanted to be your mate. At least while I could.”
His nostrils flared with alarm, but Ravenna smothered it with a kiss.
“I’ve had visions of Amaranthe’s defeat, but never anything beyond. I don’t know what will happen afterwards, if I’ll…”If I’ll survive to come home to you.
“You mean to die with her,” he growled.
“Maybe. I haven’t seen another way.”
“You’ve always known…that you would leave me.”
The truth spoken aloud struck deeper than any wound. Her face crumpled with sobs, and it was a few moments before she could speak again.
“I didn’t want to. Idon’twant to. But I have to do this. They’re myparents. They gave everything…” Wiping at her face, she said, “I kept away as long as I could. I thought to protect us both, but…” Nothing had quite gone to plan.
