Page 9 of Laila Manning
“I can’t go back.” I shook my head as I passed the couch between the two spaces, running my fingertips over the lush soft blanket draped over the back as I went. Grounding me in the comforts provided inside the warm home. “I blew it.”
“That’s not true,” She shook her head, sending her perfectly blown-out blonde locks swaying. “But it’s irrelevant because I don’t think you should go back to that place anyway. It was a shitty job, and I understand why you took it, but you’re better off without it.” She slid the mug of warm tea across the countertop to me and then walked around the other side to the couch, giving me a wide berth.
She knew I didn’t enjoy being too close to people when I was inside.
Even though I’d never spoken those words to her.
“I’ll find something.” I dipped my head over my mug and followed her to my favorite chair by the window. The window overlooked the front porch, so I could see who was coming and going before they arrived. It also gave me an exit point if I needed one.
Escape was paramount; the threat of slashing my arteries wide open wouldn’t stop me from leaping out the window if I had to.
“I have something in mind.” She cut off my train of thought as I settled into a comfortable chair the same color as her eyes.
Turquoise blue.
Everything about Carly was angelic and unthreatening.
“How do you feel about kids?”
“Kids?” I mumbled, confused and surprised. “Huh?”
“Gavin in particular.”
“What about him?” I wondered where she was going with the conversation about Ryker and Ellie’s baby. He was the cutest, sweetest baby in the entire world, with his chubby little teddy bear cheeks and Ryker’s signature scowl.
“How do you feel about babysitting him?” She watched me closely as she asked, waiting to read my cues before I even realized I had given them.
“When?” I asked, “Where would Ellie or you be?” Ellie hardly ever left Gavin at home when she left, and if she did, Carly watched him.
“Out,” She shrugged her shoulders, “Date night, or girl’s days. Whatever the occasion, you could watch him instead of Ellie leaving him with Ryker or the nanny.” She rolled her eyes, “Gavin loves you.”
“I don’t know—,” I shook my head, “I don’t know much about kids.”
“You absolutely know enough to take care of him for a few hours at a time.” Carly countered, “And you know that. You’re great with him.”
“I’m—,” I fought for the right words but came up short. “It’s not a good idea.”
“Why?” She sipped her coffee, watching me.
“Because I’m unreliable.” I quoted my old boss, the teenager. “And flighty.”
“You’re healing.” She countered, squinting her eyes, “And human.”
“Both are terrible qualities with children.” I shrugged as if that would keep the words from hurting. Because once upon a time, I wanted nothing more than to be a mom someday.
Now, it wasn’t even a possibility anymore.
“You’re wrong.” She tsked her tongue and leaned back in her chair across from me. “You’d do nothing to harm Gavin. Tell me I’m wrong.”
“Not intentionally,” I replied.
“Not at all, Laila,” She tried. “You know that.”
“It’s not worth the risk.” I shut her down, looking into my mug to signal that the conversation was over.
She sighed, and took a deep breath, before moving on in a way that only Carly could.
“So, Diesel, huh?”
