Page 93 of Laila Manning
And no words ever felt more real to me.
In a tornado of secrets and hushed whispers, I couldn’t find my footing when it felt like everyone felt the need to make decisions for me, without even asking my opinion first. But in Jed’s eyes, in his firm conviction, I found the assurance I was in desperate need of.
He would kill the monster who stole my whole life from me. I could count on that.
“Please don’t walk away again,” Zeke tried, taking a step toward me as I turned away, “Not like this.”
“I can’t.” I shook my head, unable to meet his eyes. “I can’t be a part of this. Because Jed was right, I shouldn’t have to face this all over again.”
“I’m sorry.” Zeke called out, defeated, but I simply shook my head in response. “God, Laila.”
“I can’t. I need to be alone.” And I walked away, leaving my heart in the dirt with the men who thought they knew how to care for it better than I did.
Little did they know, my heart stopped carrying weight in my chest years ago. It was just something that happened when you lost everything worth hoping for.
Chapter 25 – Zeke
Isat on my couch, staring through my open front door to Laila’s closed one. I knocked, but she wouldn’t answer. Calling her ended up with a full voicemail box.
She wanted to be alone, so I was trying to honor her wishes, but dammit, it was hard.
It felt impossible.
It killed me.
So I sat, waiting, simply praying for her to come to me, or let me in. Anything.
The longer I waited, hearing nothing from the other side of her door, the less sure I became that she’d ever open it for me again.
Lost in thought, I never heard the exterior door open until a shadow crossed my threshold as Carly paused between our doorways. She looked from Laila’s closed one to me and leaned on myframe. “Anything?”
I shook my head, rocking my jaw back and forth as I stared at a spot on the floor. “I really thought what I was doing was right.” Knowing Carly was safe overshadowed my self-consciousness about sounding shattered. “I just didn’t know how to tell her without—breaking her. Telling her would break her, and somehow keeping it from her did the same.”
“Let me try to talk to her.” Carly said, “I’ll see what I can do.”
I didn’t agree, or give her permission, but she didn’t wait around to see if I did. She knocked softly on Laila’s door and leaned toward it, “Laila, it’s Carly.”
“Come in.” Laila’s gentle voice called out from within, and I sat up straight on the couch, ready to follow her inside, but Carly waved me off, with a stern glare before disappearing inside the dark apartment.
I hung my head and scrubbed my hands over my face with a loud growl. Sitting idly went against everything I’d spent my entire life becoming. I was the type of person who took care of shit, fully, and without question. But Laila didn’t know that, because we hardly ever talked about me. It was my fault, my efforts were always to dig into her head, while keeping her out of mine.
But no more.
If she forgave me for fighting with Jed again and for hiding that I knew more than I let on, then I’d bare myself to her from now on. I’d share.
I’d protect.
I’d love.
Fully.
It felt like hours passed, more time spent sitting on my couch staring at the bolted door before it opened again. This time Carly came out first, but Laila was behind her, frozen in her doorway.
My breath caught in my throat when her red-rimmed eyes found me and watered up.
“Be gentle.” Carly said, looking at Laila and me. “Listen, without having to refute or explain yourself.” She took Laila’s hand and squeezed it before giving me one last look. “Be open and honest in ways you’ve never had to be before, either of you. That’s the only way.”
“Got it.” I nodded to her as she walked down the hall toward the exit, but my eyes never left Laila.
