Page 301 of Satan's Spawn
“Or two.” I remind her.
“Those numbers are not guaranteed, baby. Crayton may very well have to serve the full sentence when he leaves tomorrow. Potentially more if he gets into trouble in prison.”
I shove my wallet into my bag with more vigor than necessary. “Then I’ll be here waiting for him to get out.”
“Your heart is so pure, Rebecca, and I have no doubt you really mean that.”
“Great.” I jump to my feet, hiking the beach bag I packed over my shoulder. “So then there’s no need for the rest of this conversation.”
“What about Stanford?” She blurts out. “It’s been your dream since you were a kid.”
“Will have to wait. I have new dreams now, Mom. And each and every one of them includes Crayton.”
She pouts, but I can tell she doesn’t want to push me too far. “You’re just too young and bright to give up on your future.”
“I’m not giving up, Mom, I’m just putting it on hold.” With a shrug, I add, “Besides, if Crayton gets out in two years it won’t be for long. He already told me he’s willing to come to California with me while I study.”
She smiles down at her hands. “He must really love you, then.”
I try not to flinch, but I guess not good enough because Mom tilts her head. “What was that for?”
I play it off. “What?”
“That look.”
“There is no look.” I cross my arms.
“Rebecca…” She stares like she knows me too well to believe it.
I decide to confide in her, especially since I’m too nervous to tell Hendrix. Not because she’ll judge me, but because she may judge him.
“Crayton hasn’t exactly told me he loved me yet. But every single one of his actions proves how much he does. His past trauma just makes it very difficult.”
Mom doesn’t know the gory details, but she knows enough to understand why he is the way he is…why he always seems so angry at the world.
She nods in understanding. “Love can be so hard.”
If she gets it, then she knows why I have to stay…why I refuse to leave Crayton at his lowest.
“Love is easy, Mom. It’s thelovingpart that’s hard. Especially when a person grows up without it.” My shoulders fall as I return to sitting next to her. “I know you think I’m some stupid kid going through her first of many boyfriends.”
“I did not say that,” she snaps back. “Especially the stupid part. I know you’re not stupid Rebecca. In fact, you’re smarter than me in so many ways. I’m just scared for you.”
I hold her hand. “Well, you don’t have to be. I know what I’m doing.”
She kisses my head. “I know you do, baby. But it’s my job to worry.”
“I get it. I really do. But my love for Crayton is absolutely non-negotiable. I will never leave him.”
She stares adoringly at me, as if knowing the feeling all too well. “You are so much like your dad.”
I squeeze her hand tighter. “I’d like to think I’m a little like you, too.”
The light on her face dissipates.
“Hey.” I nudge her shoulder with mine. “You know I love you, right?”
Mom swipes a single tear away with her hand. “Of course, baby. I’ve just been struggling with regret.”
