Page 118 of Necessary Roughness
Something came alive in Knox’s eyes. That same thing raised his shoulders up, and filled his chest with fresh air. The Knox who looked up at Roman was suddenly a new man. The man who had won all those games earlier in the season.
“Yeah.” Knox started nodding. “I think I do.”
“Then fuckingdo somethingabout it.” Roman grabbed Knox by the shoulders and practically lifted him to his feet, then bit off his words with shocking ferocity. “Not tomorrow. Not after the game.Now.”
Halftime was ending, and coach began leading the players out of the locker room. We followed along, quietly gathering our thoughts. Roman hadn’t been speaking to me, but his words had an effect on me nonetheless.
I knew exactly how I felt about Sloane, too.
We exited the dark tunnel, emerging into the bright afternoon sun, green turf before us and blue skies above. Rather than following the rest of the team toward the bench, Knox shouted, “Be right back, Coach.”
“Third quarter starts in five minutes!” our coach shouted.
“I’ll be back,” Knox said, peeling off to the left. “And if not, put Jameson in.”
Andy Jameson, the backup quarterback, tripped over himself. “I… I don’t know if…”
But I never heard him finish his sentence, because I was following Knox running away from our team and over toward the student section at the end zone. Roman was right behind me, grunting in approval.
We were going to right a few wrongs today.
Starting with Sloane Collins.
52
Sloane
Halftime felt like a funeral. All the excited energy from the beginning of the game was long gone, replaced by a grim sense of inevitability. Despite our school’s amazing football season, despitedominatingevery single game up until last week, we were going to fall short. Orange Coast was going to win a fourth championship in as many years.
I left the student section to get some food. While waiting in line, I considered leaving the stadium and going home. Watching the men I cared about, mylovers, lose this game was too painful to endure. The only thing that kept me from leaving was a sense of loyalty to Bryson and Jayden. I didn’t want them to experience the disappointment alone, not after they had been supportive of me.
My hot dog tasted bland, even with lots of mustard. I ate half of it on the way back to my seat, then tossed the rest in the trash.
“I wasn’t sure if you were coming back,” Jayden said.
“I thought about it,” I admitted. “Why? Do you guys want to leave?”
“We’re still in this,” Bryson insisted. “I’m not leaving until the end, no matter how bad it gets.”
I stared down at the field. The teams were returning for the second half.
“You love them,” Bryson said. “Don’t you?”
I whipped my head toward him. “What? Love? I don’t know if I’d go that far.”
Bryson smiled sadly. “Sloane, I’ve never seen you this way. And I don’t just meanthisway, sad and heartbroken. I mean the way you’ve been all semester. It’s like you finally became the best version of yourself. That’s the kind of thing only love can cause.”
For once, Jayden was silent while he waited for my response.
“Maybe I was falling in love,” I admitted. “Before I ruined it.”
“You didn’t ruin anything, but I’m sick of havingthatargument,” he said. “You should tell them how you feel.”
“It’s tough after the past week,” I said. “It’s like an enormous chasm has opened up between us, and we’re on opposite sides. There’s no way to bridge it, now. Let me think about it.”
“You think too much,” Jayden said.
“I’m going to be a teacher. Ishouldbe thinking with my head, not my heart.”
