Page 35 of Necessary Roughness
“Huh?”
He settled into the couch spot on the other side of me. “Mild inconveniences. Picking a grocery line and then watching every other line move faster than yours. I hate that.”
“Same for lanes during traffic,” Logan added.
“Ugh, that’s theworst,” I agreed.
“Happens to me every time I drive to campus from the interstate.” Logan pointed at the TV. “The limo driver is my favorite guy.”
“Argyle,” Knox said. “That’s his name. Hardly anyone is named Argyle anymore.”
“It’s gone the way of Betty, Mildred, and Chester.” I perked up. “I’ve got a good one! Picking the wrong way to open a door. Like, pushing when you’re supposed to pull.”
“There’s no way to play it off, either,” Knox said. “You do the wrong thing, then live in your shame for the rest of the day.”
“When I’m king of the universe,” Logan said, “I’ll replace all doors with revolving doors.”
“So sayeth King Logan,” Knox said formally.
“Thank you for acknowledging my kingly authority.” Logan nudged me with his elbow. “Don’t let him steal too much popcorn.”
“I’ve only had one handful!” Knox protested. “You’ve had, like, half the bowl.”
“Shhhh,” Logan said loudly. “The bad guys are about to roll up. This is my favorite part.”
“Thisis your favorite part?” I asked. “At the very beginning?”
“Well…” Logan pursed his lips together. “It’soneof my favorite parts. This whole movie is a banger.”
For a little while, we watched the movie unravel in silence.
“Hey! That’s Snape!” I said.
“No, that’s Hans Gruber,” Logan insisted. “He won’t become Snape for another quarter of a century.”
I leaned forward. “I am now extremely interested in this movie.”
When the popcorn was gone, I made another bag. We joked about Alan Rickman’s ability to be a compelling bad guy, and kept thinking up mildly inconvenient things to add to our list.
“Not having any Wi-Fi,” Knox said.
“Even worse: Wi-Fi that’s kind of spotty,” I countered. “Like, it flickers every few minutes.”
Logan sucked in his breath. “Fuck. That might be the winner.”
“Worse than having a tiny hair stuck in your mouth?” Knox asked.
“So much worse!” I said.
By the end of the night, all three of us were totally engrossed by the movie. I was, quite literally, sitting on the edge of my seat until Hans Gruber fell to his death at the end (sorry, spoilers.)When the credits rolled, Logan twisted on the couch and gave me a look.
“Pretty good, right?”
“That was,” I admitted, “one of the best movies I’ve ever seen. And I’m not just saying that to make you both happy.”
“We’ve converted her,” Knox said proudly.
“And it’s definitely a Christmas movie,” I said. “The entire score is Christmas music!”
