Page 113 of Danger Close
“Cobra–”
“Joe,” he corrected.
“Cobra…” I shook my head from his grasp, stepping back to make some space. To have room to breathe. “This can’t work.”
His eyes narrowed. An almost cruel, defiant smirk tilted up one corner of his mouth.
“How’d you figure?” He worked his jaw, back and forth as he waited for my answer.
“Please don’t make me say it.” If I had any tears left, I would shed them. But I was numb.
I was so empty and exhausted. I just wanted this one reprieve. This one wish granted.
“I’m making you say it.” He closed the space between us again, robbing me of oxygen as his scent and warmth surrounded me. I wanted to bask in it. To shut my eyes and take it in, and get lost in it forever. “I’m going to need you to look me in the eyes while you tell me whatever bullshit excuse you’ve come up with.”
I hated his tone. I hated his beautiful eyes. But most of all, I hated myself.
“I understand that the adrenaline, and the vastness of everything that’s happened this past week, and everything you’ve discovered makes you feel obligated—”
“Don’t tell me how I fucking feel, Princess. Iknowwhat I feel. I want to know why you’re saying this can’t work.” His fingers touched my chin again as he forced me to look at his eyes.
I swallowed, trying to find the courage.
“And you need tolook me in the eyeswhile you say it.”
Fuck. There it was. The tear. It gathered on my lower lash, blurring my vision as I looked up at the gold, warm browns and greens of his irises. He wielded them like swords, cutting into me.
“You might think you love me now, but you’ll blame me tomorrow. I can’t be there when that happens.”It would kill me.
He was silent for a long moment, his eyes searching mine. Then he nodded. “That’s the truth.”
What was he, a lie detector?
“Now tell me what I’d blame you for.”
I pulled away from him, but he kept closing the space until his body was flush against mine, and even if I could use my hands to push him away, I wouldn’t have the strength to fight him. To fight this. To fight the tenderness of his body.
“Because itisall my fault!” It came out a pathetic sob, as the tear on my lash fell down my cheek.
He didn’t pause. He just rubbed it away with his thumb, clearing it as if it never happened.
“Cobra–”
“Joe!” he growled his correction and I flinched.
“Please…” My watery voice blubbered as I tried to push the words out because I knew he wouldn’t let it go until I did. “Our divorce was my fault. I was the reason for all of this. I was so lonely when I thought you left that I clung on to the first man who looked my way. I was so desperately lonely that I…”
Shame heated my skin.
“I liked it. I liked how rough he was. I liked how Ray lost control. I thought that was love.”
Cobra straightened, the muscle in his jaw pulsing.
“I mistook his controlling nature for the passionate possessiveness of love.” Another tear.
He wiped it away as well. His fingers staying on my jaw, my chin, my cheeks, cursing my skin with the sweet graze of his warm fingertips, sending sweetness through me.
“I asked for it. Begged for it, in fact. And he was right. I was more than happy with what he did to me, until he strayed.” Shame. I was so full of shame, but the words I’d repressed for so long were spilling out and I could not stop it. “All I wanted was his attention back, so I begged him to do whatever he wanted. I’d give him anything if only he just stayed with me. I’d forgive everything. The pain, humiliation, and infidelity… as long as he didn’t leave me. As long as he didn’t stop being a father to my child.”
