Page 168 of The Baby Bargain
I have to explain my sudden departure.
And I have to underline our new terms.
No more falling in love. No more ideas of saving him. No more cooking dinner and watching TV on the couch and melting into his chest.
No more of those strong, safe embraces. The embraces that make me feel like the entire world is okay.
I… Uh…
Shit.
I have to give that up. I have to draw these lines. I have to protect myself.
But I also need to fuck him tomorrow.
Ariel: Sorry I left so quickly. I had some thinking to do.
Chase: Are you okay?
Ariel: I am. Thanks for asking.
Chase: You didn't offend me.
Ariel: Good.
Chase: I know I'm a mess. You don't have to pretend you don't notice.
No, that's not true at all. Chase is a great guy. He makes me all warm and squishy. Like I'm basking in the glow of the sun on a beautiful day.
Ariel: It's not you, Chase. It's me. I'm getting confused about our arrangement. I need to remind myself of our terms.
Chase: Right.
Ariel: I need a breath.
Chase: It's easy to mix sex up with other things.
Ariel: Are you too?
Chase: Does that matter?
Of course. If he feels the same, if he wants me too…
God, I want that. I want it too much. I can't say it. I can't even think it.
He's so not there.
Ariel: You're right. It doesn't.
Chase: I still want to do this.
Ariel: Good. Me too.
Chase: What do you need from me?
He's so clear and direct. How did he have such a problem communicating with his ex?
He's just…
