Page 82 of The Baby Bargain
"I need a commitment. A hundred percent commitment. Which is a lot to ask."
"Yeah."
She shakes. Releases me. "I, um, I like you a lot Chase. You're a good friend. I'd hate to mess that up."
"Me too." I wrap my arms around her.
She rests her head on my shoulder. Digs her fingers into my arms.
She's so soft and pliable and right.
I haven't felt that since Grace, that sense that someone's body belongs near mine.
There have been plenty of hugs, embraces, dates Griffin pushed me into.
But this—
It's something else.
"I'll sleep on it." I release her.
She steps backward. Looks at me like she's not sure how we're supposed to say goodbye.
I'm not either.
So I nod, turn, move to my car.
She watches me drive away.
She stays in my thoughts all fucking night.
Do I want to get Ariel pregnant is an easy question to answer.
Can I do that without getting invested, without falling in love with her kid, without falling in love with her?
That's a lot harder.
Chapter Nineteen
Chase
Sleep and coffee prove equally useless in the clarity front.
My thoughts circle as I walk to work. My favorite album flows through my headphones. Blocks the sounds of traffic, surf, conversation.
Usually, this song makes me think of Grace. Usually, every fucking song makes me think of Grace.
It's not that I'm still in love with her.
I still don't get it.
The look of relief on her face when she pressed the ring into my hand.
It was the first time I saw her relax in forever.
When we started, we were over the moon. I loved every fucking thing about her. The sharp laugh. The red nails. The birthmark on her collarbone.
The way she scribbled lyrics on my arm in sharpie. Traced my tattoos. Gushed about the art history class we shared. Bragged when she earned a higher test score than I did.
