Page 130 of Come to Me
"Humor me."
Her eyes turn towards the windows. It is gorgeous outside--the purple sky is streaked with yellow light.
Alyssa brings her gaze back to me. "Can we talk about it after I've had some coffee?"
I want to refuse, but then I look at her a little closer. There are dark circles under her eyes and she's pale. I know that look.
"Did you sleep last night?" I ask.
She shakes her head. "Too many time zones. But it's fine. I just need coffee. A lot of coffee."
"You sure you don't want to spend a few hours in bed?"
She nods. "I'd much prefer coffee."
* * *
We have a slow breakfast.Alyssa drinks cup after cup of coffee, but none of them bring her any closer to explaining what the fuck happened this morning.
I want to push her, but I know from experience she might just shut down completely if I do that.
If I'm honest, I'm tired of having to wear kid gloves with her so often.
But I also want answers.
So I talk about last night. I talk about work. I talk about the Oscar bait movies that are playing in every theater in Los Angeles.
She's responsive, even though it's obvious she's tired. I suggest we opt out of our original plan for the day--we're taking a long, difficult hike--to do something that won't exhaust her. But she refuses.
"You haven't slept in 24 hours."
"I'm fine," she says. "Great even."
Bullshit.
She certainly doesn't look great. She looks ragged, though it's unclear if her exhaustion is from lack of sleep or from whatever it is she's hiding.
"You're going to pass out from dehydration after all that coffee."
She gives me a look.
"Are you a lawyer or a doctor?"
"Technically, a law degree is a doctorate."
She rolls her eyes.
"I'll laugh my way to the bathroom," she says, smiling despite herself as she pushes out of the table and makes her way to the restaurant's bathroom.
A thought crosses my mind for a split second--what if she's purging--but I shake it away. She's been doing better for a long time. And she'd tell me if she was struggling.
We've been together for the last two weeks. There's no way she'd be able to hide a relapse.
I take a long sip of my tea. I'm getting worked up over nothing. I need to calm down, so she'll feel comfortable talking to me.
Alyssa returns to the table. She looks at me as she slides into her seat. She's really studying my expression.
"Don't tell me..." She shakes her head like she's disappointed in me. "And here I thought you finally trusted me."
