Page 142 of Come to Me
I feel his hands on my hair. I close my eyes, fighting another round of stupid tears. There's an emptiness inside of me, starting at my throat and going all the way into my gut.
He strokes my hair gently. He should stop. He shouldn't do this. It hurts too much. It's too awful. I should tell him to stop.
But I need the comfort too much.
"I talked to Laurie. She's taking a red eye. She'll be here in the morning."
Oddly enough, that's what cuts through the haze.
"Now he's calling my friends to console me?
"No."
He frowns, clearly concerned.
"What?" There's mostly concern in his eyes. Even when he's desperate to get the hell out of dodge, he's still concerned for me.
"No," I repeat, sitting up. "I don't want you to call someone else in to take care of me. I can take care of myself."
He searches my eyes for a long moment before nodding.
"Okay. If you're sure..."
"I'm sure."
He nods again, looking away.
"I'm leaving in a few minutes."
I swallow hard, willing my eyes to stay dry. "Okay."
It's not. But what else can I say?
He reaches out to stroke my hair but catches himself before touching me.
It hurts so fucking bad.
"I'm sorry," he says. "I don't want to drag you around."
I clear my throat, looking down at the bedspread.
"What now?" I ask.
"You have a few days in Hawaii. I'll be back at the house. You're still welcome there." He looks to the far corner of the room.
What a shitty consolation prize.
He brings his gaze back to me. There's love in his eyes. I can see it. He still loves me. He still wants me. He's frustrated, but that's it. There's still a chance... he could be convinced.
But not by a bunch of empty promises.
"I'm not going to abandon you," he says.
I'm sure he means it, but right now, it's just another shitty consolation prize.
I nod, okay. I'm still welcome in his house, in the spare room, to be around him but not with him. So I can watch him move on to some girl who will actually talk to him, some girl who won't frustrate him, some girl who is everything he really wants.
He squeezes my hand, looking into my eyes one last time. "Call me if you need anything."
