Page 144 of Come to Me
It's another warm, humid night and there's something so refreshing about the light breeze.
Laurie calls as I'm taking a deep breath.
"Hey. What are you doing?"
I lean back.
"Sitting on the balcony. Drinking amaretto." I tilt my head back to take another sip from the bottle of liquor. The sweet taste of licorice coats my tongue and throat.
It's the kind of thing Luke would drink.
The heaviness builds in my chest. I blink back a tear.
Laurie sighs.
"Do you want to talk about it now?"
"I miss him so much already," I admit. I press my fingers into my thighs. This whole thing makes me dizzy. I don't know what he wants, what I want, what the hell I'm going to do here.
"Do you think it's really over?" she asks, her tone careful.
"Maybe," I mutter. I shake my head to keep from crying. "He's trying to protect me. Protect us."
"From what--too many great orgasms?"
"You're a pervert." It almost hurts to smile, but I can't help it. I swallow the lump in my throat. "He said something about how he doesn't make me happy. That neither of us are happy."
"Oh." Her voice lowers, like she sees the merit in this horrible idea.
"You really think..." I bite my lip. I can't keep hiding from this. I have to confront it. "Do you really think he's right?"
"Alyssa... there is a lot of conflict between you two."
I can hear the hesitation in her voice. She doesn't want to hurt me, but she wants to tell me the truth.
I can appreciate the sentiment even though I don't agree with her.
"You're both wrong," I insist. "I've never been as happy as I am with him."
"Well. Did you tell him that?"
"I... no."
I shake my head. Of course not. That's been the whole problem all along.
"Maybe, if you talk to him, if you really tell him how you feel... maybe you'll work it out," she offers.
I nod, even though she can't see it.
"But, Alyssa... you're going to have to do a lot better than what you just told me. You're going to have to really open up, really let him see inside your brain. It's all or nothing."
I exhale, pushing all the air out of my lungs. "I know," I say. "I have an idea."
Chapter Thirty-Two
Luke
The last year or so, the world was bright, vivid, colorful.
