Yes. Just a few minutes without consciousness to reset everything. A few minutes and I'll be okay.
Just... a... few... minutes.
"Alyssa!"
Fuck, not again.
I jerk upright, peeling my eyes open. It's okay. I'm at the theater. That must be the hair and makeup girl.
There's no more time for this. Alyssa Summers, insecure mess, needs to step aside to make room for Alyssa Summers, Broadway actor. Because there is absolutely no room for any of this in the next few hours.
No room for anything except Blanche fucking DuBois.
* * *
After the final curtain call,I recede to my dressing room.
It's bathed in a soft yellow glow from the lights on the vanity. It's not like the dream. It's a yellow-white instead of a yellow-black, but it's unsettling all the same.
I take off my makeup, change into my street clothes, and fish my engagement ring out of my purse.
I'm leaving work. It's time to step back into my normal role.
I love Luke. I really do. There's no doubt in my damn mind that I love him.
But my skin is crawling, and my chest is heavy and I'm certain my next breath will do nothing to bring oxygen into my body.
This is good. This is great. No, it's amazing. It's everything I should want.
But I can't breathe.
There must be something wrong with me.
I'm not about to give in to whatever this is. I love Luke and I'm going to marry him and I'm not going to be afraid of a stupid fucking ring.
No, it's not a stupid ring. It's nice. It's gorgeous, actually, simple and elegant. It was his mom's ring. He gave me his mom's ring.
It's not the same ring he gave to Samantha. He gave her some shit from a chain store at the mall.
Luke wouldn't be caught dead at a chain jewelry store. Her ring was also gorgeous, but it wasn't this. It wasn't his mom's. No, he was saving this one.
He didn't realize it, but he was saving this one for me.
The tension in my lungs eases, just a little bit, just enough that I can suck in a full breath.
I slide the ring onto my finger. It's just a ring. No big deal. Not at all a big deal.
There's another knock on the door. Dammit. Everyone is around today.
"Come in," I call out. I check my hair and makeup--good enough--and turn towards the door.
It's Ellen and Nicholas.
"Hey," Nicholas greets me with a smile.
Ellen gets straight to the point.
"You wanna go out tonight?"