Page 129 of Dirty Husband
Iwake up alone. And sore.
My body is still buzzing. But the coldness of the empty bed—
This is confusing.
No, it's simple. Shepard will fuck me. He won't love me. I need to find a way to understand it.
Sure, I say the words again and again, but—
I need to believe it. To know it the way I know the climax of Macbeth. The way I know I love my father.
I go through my morning routine, dress in comfortable clothes, move into the main room.
Key is waiting with breakfast and tea. Oolong, perfectly steeped, a new pairing that enhances the flavors of both items. Eggs with scallions. Toast with chives and goat cheese.
Simple, strong, creamy.
She has a note too. From Shep. He's busy today, doing God knows what. But he wants me to pick a location for our trip. We need to visit one of Jeff and Marcus's chocolate factories. To prove we appreciate his gift.
And we need to sell it too. To seem like the most happily engaged couple to ever live.
That's a stretch.
But I guess it's not so bad picking between London, Paris, Rome, and Tokyo.
There are certain perks to this arrangement.
Orgasms. Fine tea. Trips abroad.
The only thing lacking is love.
Just that one little thing.
* * *
"Jasmine, you have thirteen days,"Mai says. "You need to find something now."
"You only get married once," Quyen argues. "She can't wear a dress that's all wrong."
They look to me to pick a side, though I'm not sure why. They've been having this argument for the last twenty minutes. For our entire ride from their hotel (my first stop after breakfast) to this row of shops.
This is the first shop of many options. From the current status of conversation—
It's going to be a long day.
"This is beautiful." Mai points to one of the dresses in the window. A lace mermaid gown by a famous designer. With a five-figure price tag. "But so much money. It's a waste."
"Her husband makes that in a day," Quyen argues.
"More like a few hours," I say.
They look at me with wide eyes. It's like they're characters in a cartoon with exclamation points over their heads. "It's that much?"
Did they not realize?
"I knew Shepard was from a good family, but wow." Mai looks at the price tag. Her posture changes as she looks around the store. It's no longer out of reach. It's well within her grasp.
Money changes things. It always changes things. I don't want it to change the way they look at me, but I guess I don't have a choice.
