Page 208 of Dangerous Encore
"I believeinyou."
Her lips curl with a half smile. "That means a lottome."
"I do whatIcan."
She moves a little closer. Her fingertips graze my shoulder. My bicep. Myforearm. "Kit…"
The single word says everything. How can she do that? How can she pack so much meaning into asyllable?
I slide my hand up her back, and plant it between her shoulder blades. The feel of her skin against my palm does somethingtome.
Centersme.
Convinces me I'm where Ibelong.
I need her. There's no doubtaboutthat.
It's more her needing me that gets me allfuckedup.
I stare into her gorgeous blue eyes. "I want to explain this to you, baby. I wish I could. I will. Once I figureitout."
Her eyes go to her hand. She watches herself doodle on my skin. "Idon'tknow."
"I do want you forever. I never doubt that. I know it's cliché shit, but this has nothing to do with you. It's me. My head is a mess. When I think about my parents' marriage, how fucked up it was…" I run my fingers through her hair until she's purring. "I'm going to figureitout."
She looks up at me. Those blue eyes fill with something I can'tplace.
"I don't want to lock you out." I stare back into her eyes. I don't know what to say. I don't have anything else to say. It's rare I wish I was good with words. Butrightnow…
I'd give anything to be as obnoxiously introspectiveasMal.
Or to be as effervescent and charming as EthanorJoel.
Is everyone this fucked up or is itjustme?
Piper's voice is a whisper. I can barely hear it over the air conditioning. "I don't want you to lock me outeither."
"You are the sun in my sky, Piper. Youknowthat?"
"Really?"
I nod. "You're my silver lining. All that cheesy shit. I don't know what I'd dowithoutyou.
She nods. "I don't know what I'd do without you, either. You're not the only person who struggles with stuff. Youknowthat?"
"Yeah. This shit… It gets me stuck in my head. Makes me selfish. I hate doing thattoyou."
"I don't want toloseyou."
"You won't. I love you somuch,baby."
"But… You still don't want tomarryme?"
"No. I do. It's just all this shit is tangled in my brain. I can't say the wordwifewithout thinking of my mom, staring out the window with a vacant expression, high as a kite. I can't stand the thought of that happening to you. To us. Iknowit won't. But I can't stopfeelingit."
"I… I kind of understand. Violet helped explain it.But,Kit—"
"Yeah?"
