Page 73 of Dangerous Encore
"Not yet." But I will be. Eventually. Intheory.
Joel grabs two mugs and fills them both with coffee. He brings one to my dad and grabs the spot on the couch nexttohim.
He starts talking about some jazz musician dadloves.
Dad's eyeslightup.
My shoulders relax. They can go like this forhours.
* * *
Dad and Joeltalk allmorning.
Through three cups ofcoffee.
All the way to me burning the green bean casserole and setting off the smokealarm.
Dad goes to pull the balconydooropen.
Joel grabs a DVD case and fans the smokedetector.
I turn off the burner and move away from the kitchen. I'm not a natural chef. I like cooking, and I'm usually pretty good at it, but today I'mdistracted.
My cheeks flame red withembarrassment.
Mercifully, the smoke detector's beep ceases. Joel stopsfanning.
Dad moves in from thebalcony.
My husband's expression stays fraught. "How about I gettakeout?"
I press my lips together. "Okay. If that's what you want to dotoo,Dad."
"Sure." Dad nods. "Whatever you'drecommend."
"You have to have real Mexican food. Street tacos. The truck over by Abbot-Kinney will be open today." Joel moves into the kitchen and wraps his arms around me. "We'll call this a snack. We'll still have that turkey fordinner."
"And mashed sweet potatoes. And rolls. And… frozen broccoli." I hug Joel back. God, he smells good. I want him holding meforever.
Dad nods. He says his own goodbye-for-now to Joel then he moves into the kitchen to pour another cup of coffee. "AnotherEarlGrey?"
"Okay." I leave my apron on its hook, wash my hands, and take a seat on thecouch.
This is a good chance for me and Dad to talkalone.
That's why Joel left. I think. We're not doing a good job communicating with eachother.
We're usually betteratthat.
But then we don't usually have something this big up intheair.
Dad joins me on the couch. He hands me my Earl Grey. His eyes fix on mine. "Are you all right,sweetheart?"
"Yeah." I take a long sip of my tea. "Tired. I've been workingalot."
He nods. "I remember when I was your age. It was always long hours. You have to proveyourself."
I nod. I do have to prove myself, but not the way dad means. Not to anyonebutme.
