Page 5 of Connie
I put my hands up in surrender to Ruben as I get up off the floor. I’m just about to say something, fuck knows what mind you, when his fist connects with my nose.
“FUCK!” I shout as I feel blood start to pour down into my mouth.
Ruben gets a good few punches in before the sounds of Connie’s screams alerts her mum who comes storming into the room and the two of them just about manage to drag Ruben away from me. I’m impressed they manage it because they are both tiny and Ruben is seriously pumped up. Luckily for me a bit of smooth talking from his mum calms Ruben down and he soon gets sent away. We all stand in silence as we listen to his footsteps pound down the stairs before the front door slams shut.
“I think you should put some clothes on, don’t you, Fin,” Elizabeth says throwing my boxers and shorts at me. It’s only when she says that that I realise I’m stood there stark bollock naked. I guess I should be grateful that being beat on by Ruben meant I lost my hard on.
“I should go,” I mutter to both Connie and Elizabeth once I’m half dressed seeing as Connie is sat still wearing my t-shirt. I grab my wallet off the side, the used condom on the floor makes me cringe but I leave it where it is and walk out, quickly.
Present…
Thinking back the first time we got caught together reminds me that it should have taught me a lesson. I hurt Ruben badly by sleeping with Connie. It didn’t matter how much I liked her, she was a no go and I just ignored that and did what I wanted. I’d promised Ruben not long before it happened that I would never do anything with her. When I promised I totally believed it was a promise I could keep because I didn’t in a million years think that she would be willing.
Ruben isn’t just my best friend, he’s my brother, and I hated myself for doing that to him. I was in a bad place for a long time after that day. Not only was my home life going down the pan but I’d lost my adopted family. I owed the Fosters so much and that’s how I repaid them. Thankfully Nigel didn’t sack me and I was able to throw myself into work. Nigel did his best to ensure that Ruben and I were working on different sites, which I was grateful for. He knew as well as I did how angry Ruben was at me. And I couldn’t blame him.
It took the best part of a year for things between Ruben and me to get back to somewhere near normal. By that I mean he could be in the same room as me and not want to end me. I was grateful but I missed him and the Fosters like crazy. Okay so it was totally my own fault, firstly I shouldn’t have done what I did and secondly in hindsight maybe I shouldn’t have tossed Connie aside like a piece of rubbish afterwards. I thought it was the right thing to do though.
Connie’s eyelids fluttering catch my attention and bring me out of my daydream.
“You’re awake,” she says stating the obvious when she sees me looking back down her. “I’m so sorry, Fin. He wasn’t meant to find out that way.” Her eyes start filling with tears again and it breaks my heart. This isn’t her fault, it’s all on me and my lack of self control.
“Don’t, Connie,” I warn. “I knew this was going to happen but I wasn’t strong enough to let it stop me.”
“I thought he was going to kill you this time. He was like a man possessed. Nothing like last time. And you just stood there and took it, why didn’t you fight back? You could have stopped him so you didn’t end up in this state.”
“I wasn’t going to fight back, Connie. I was in the wrong. I swore to him so many times that I wouldn’t touch you again and yet here we are. I deserved what he gave me and then some.”
“Stop…” she sobs out. “You did not deserve this, Fin. He just doesn’t understand that this,” she says gesturing between us, “isn’t just a bit of fun. He doesn’t know that I love you and that I always have.”
“He won’t accept this, Con. He’ll never accept us being together.”
“Wha…what are you saying?” she asks and I can hear the fear in her voice. She knows what’s coming next.
“We need to end this,” I say with as much resolve as I can muster.
“No,” she says defiantly. “I’m not going to let him ruin what we’ve got, Fin. It’s too good and don’t you dare deny it. I know you feel the same.”
“It doesn’t matter what I feel. I won’t do this to him, he’s always been there for me and so have your parents. I won’t cause them anymore problems and us being together will cause problems and you know it, Ruben will make sure of it.”
She just sits and stares at me with tears running down her face with a look of utter disbelief on her face.
“I can’t believe you’re doing this to me again. I thought things were different this time. I thought this was it, after everything you’ve put me through.” She gets up and walks to the curtain as if going to leave.
“Do you know what, Fin, fuck you. I’ve wasted enough of my life, love and tears on you. I won’t put myself through it anymore. This is it though, you make this decision now and I won’t come crawling back like the pathetic little girl that I’ve been before. I deserve more than this, Fin. I deserve to be treated properly. I deserve to be loved.” With that said she swipes the curtain aside and she’s gone.
“You’re right,” I mutter quietly to myself. “You deserve all of that and more and it should be me giving it to you.” I stare at the curtain as it falls back into place like she was never here. The pain from my broken nose and ribs subsides in that moment and the pain in my chest takes over.
Chapter 2
Connie
I don’t make it any farther than the corridor on the way back to the relative’s room where Mum and Emma are waiting for me before I give in to my sobs. I lean back against the wall and I don’t know I’m falling until my arse hits the floor. I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them as I cry.
I knew Ruben wouldn’t be happy about Fin and me but I didn’t expect this. I thought we’d tell him how we really feel about each other and he’d get over it. But because I decided that the pregnancy test that I’d been carrying around in my handbag for weeks was burning a hole in the leather I made the stupid decision to piss on it at Emma’s while waiting for her and Ruben to arrive for the party. I didn’t even think twice about just putting it in the bin. How fucking stupid was that!
So now my brother hates me and he all but killed Fin because of it. I’ve been cast aside, again, and he doesn’t even know about the baby because I haven’t been brave enough to admit my stupid mistake. Well at least I know how he really feels about me. Clearly he was never as serious about me as I was about him and I’d have hated for him to hang around for a baby if it wasn’t what he really wanted.
“Shit, Connie,” I hear in the distance. I haven’t got the energy to look up and see who it is though. Seconds later I feel someone sit down beside me and pull my sobbing body into them. I know instantly that it’s Emma because she smells like raspberries and coconut.
