Page 7 of Connie
“No. All you need to know is that it was a one time thing and a mistake at that.”
I try my best to stay strong, to swallow down the hurt that is quickly bubbling up and threatening to spill out through my eyes.
“Finlay, dinner’s ready. Don’t keep Mum waiting,” is shouted from somewhere.
“Okay Dad, I’m coming,” Fin responds quickly in a panic.
“Mum?” I question knowing full well his mum is long gone but I just get pulled up from the bench and pushed, none to gently, towards their driveway.
“You need to leave, now.”
I walk away a few steps before turning and looking back at Fin but he’s already though the door and is closing it on me.
I run all the way home trying my hardest to keep all my emotions bottled up until I make it to the safety of my room.
“Connie, is that you?” Mum calls when I start running up the stairs. “Is everything okay, love?”
“Yeah everything’s fine. I’ll be down in a bit.” I shout back hoping I sounded fine and that she’ll leave me alone for a while so I can attempt to pull myself together and tend to my broken heart.
Present…
Emma eventually pulled me up off the hospital floor and took me to where Mum was waiting. She took one look at me and pulled me in for a long hug. They could obviously tell without having to ask that I needed to get out of there so they quickly gathered their stuff and ushered me out to the car park and into the car.
No one says anything the whole way home and I’m more than grateful. I don’t think I could cope with their questions right now.
When Emma pulls up in the driveway to my parent’s house. I mumble a thanks to her and promise I’ll see her soon before following my mum inside. I can’t go into my house for fear of seeing Ruben. I’m struggling to get my head around the events of the day and I can’t get the look of his murderous eyes out of my head. I need space and time to think.
Without even talking it’s like my mum knows exactly what I need. She grabs hold of my hand once we’re inside, shouts to my dad what we are there and that she’ll be back in a bit before pulling me up the stairs. I follow along behind her like a little child. She pulls me into the family bathroom and sits me on the closed toilet seat before going about running a bath for me. She leaves the room for a few minutes and returns with my favourite pair of cup cake pyjamas. God know how she got those so quickly but that is the least of my worries.
After giving me a kiss on the cheek she leaves me to it. I strip off as quickly as I can because the soothing water of the bath is calling to me. I have to blast some cold in because I’ve read somewhere that pregnant women shouldn’t have hot baths. Once I’m happy I’m not going to cook the grape that’s growing inside me I settle in.
Ten minutes later mum reappears with a giant glass of wine for me. I take one look at it and burst into tears. I want to drink that so badly right now but I know I can’t.
“Connie, what’s wrong?” she asks as she places the glass on the side of the bath and kneels next to it so she can grab my hand.
“I…I can’t drink th…that,” I stutter out.
“Why can’t you…oh! Connie are you…” she doesn’t finish the question because she can obviously see the answer in my eyes. Her own eyes fill with tears, I guess in sympathy for me. “Oh love, it’s Fin’s, isn’t it?”
I just nod at her before clarifying. “Nine weeks. That’s why Ruben went so crazy. He found my pregnancy test in Emma’s bathroom bin. Fin walked in the room after he finished questioning me and he put two and two together.”
“Oh shit, well that helps to explain it, I guess.”
“Yeah,” I say sadly.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but what happened with Fin in the hospital?”
I let out a huge breath as I muster up the strength to answer that question. I don’t have secrets from my mum and I’m not about to start now.
“He did exactly what he’s done before and just cast me aside when the going got tough. I thought it was different this time, Mum. He’d told me that he loved me and that I was it for him. Then one sign of trouble and he takes off running. He said that he can’t stay with me because of Ruben and he doesn’t want to cause problems for our family. He hasn’t even tried fighting for us,” I say quietly.
“Oh, baby. Ruben obviously didn’t knock any sense into him them,” she says trying to bring a little bit of humour to the situation. I manage to twitch the corner of my mouth up at her.
“I told him that if that was his opinion then it’s over between us. I’m not going back again, Mum. I can’t keep picking myself up when he drops me. I can’t keep repeating this over and over, it’s too painful.”
“I think that’s the right thing to do. You need to find someone who is going to treat you right, and let’s be honest, Fin hasn’t treated you right. No matter how much you love him and think he’s the one, he doesn’t deserve you. I hate to ask but what are you going to do about…” She doesn’t finish her sentence instead looks down to where my stomach is under all the bubbles.
Without realising I’ve done it my hand comes up to rest on top of my still flat belly. “I don’t know. I don’t think I can get rid of it though.”
