Page 2 of Molly: Part One
“Soooo…come on spill it…where did you go with Callum?” Hannah pleads.
“Just for a walk in the garden, I said this earlier.”
“Yes, you did but I didn’t believe you then and I still don’t now. I saw you two getting off with each other in the corner before you disappeared.”
Callum is the boy at school that every girl dreams of. He is sporty, clever, funny and of course seriously hot, which is exactly why no one expected him to show his face tonight, but he did and let’s just say that I got to know him a little better than I did before. I am yet to decide if that is a good thing or not though.
“Will you two keep it down I want to get up early tomorrow to do some coursework before we go to Grandma’s,” Emma complains from her bed. Okay so I said before that we work hard to get good grades but Emma takes it to the extreme, so much so I was actually surprised she gave herself the night off to come tonight because she is seriously dedicated to her studies. She is doing AS level maths already and does Spanish lessons after school to get herself an extra GCSE. I think she is putting too much pressure on herself but she can’t seem to stop in her quest to be the best accountant Oxford has ever seen.
“Sorry,” we both whisper simultaneously.
“Soooo come on Molly, tell me,” Hannah whispers.
I let out a frustrated breath and just go for it. “Okay, so we went outside and found a quiet corner of the garden behind a bush. He pulled me down on to the ground and we rolled around for a while kissing and letting our hands roam a little.” I look up at Hannah and can see the excitement about what might come next pouring off of her.
“Oh my god, did you have sex with him?” she asks, but says the word sex much quieter than the others. I don’t know why, it’s only Emma that could be listening.
“No I didn’t. I sorta thought we were going to but by the time I got into his boxers he was so worked up from just kissing me and seeing me in my bra that one touch from me and he went off like a firework!” I can’t help it, I burst out laughing at the memory earning me another grumble from Emma.
“But I thought Callum has slept with loads of girls?” Hannah asks confused.
“Ha, yeah, that’s what the rumour mill says but after how quick he got off tonight and how mortified he was about it afterwards I would be inclined to say that this was his first experience and the rumours are just that…rumours.” We both fall about giggling like the schoolgirls we are, I guess that vodka hasn’t totally worn off yet.
“So you were going to have sex with him then?”
“Yeah, I guess,” I say shrugging my shoulders.
“But don’t you want to wait until you’re in love?” she asks sounding all sweet and innocent.
The only thing I have never told my best friend is that I lost my virginity last year to someone we go to school with at a party one night. Hannah has a different outlook on life thanks to her normal, loving family and I just don’t want to have to explain my reasons for doing what I did that night and a few times since. I totally understand her desire to wait until she is in love and I admire her for it but what I needed that night and what I still need is just to feel wanted by someone, to be made to feel like I’m needed for something. And that first night, that was exactly how I felt, he both wanted and needed me. Yes it was seriously painful and in no way was it good for me, like he asked me when it was over. But it wasn’t pleasure I was chasing like he was, it was the need to be wanted, just like it was tonight when Callum started hitting on me. That need just took over and I’d have almost done anything he wanted to feel that way.
I didn’t want to tell Hannah all of that though because she will spend hours telling me how I do have people who need and want me, and I know I do but it doesn’t make how I feel disappear. Being with a boy in those few moments makes it disappear though.
