Page 21 of Molly: Part One
“How did you manage it?”
“I applied for every kind of funding there was and I did manage to get a little bit, but not enough. One day I got a phone call from my gran, my dad’s mum, she asked to see me. I loved my gran, I used to spend all my holidays with her when I was younger, she taught me how to cook, we used to spend our days baking all sorts.”
“I’ve always wondered who taught you to cook, I love your gran too then because you are an awesome cook.”
“Thank you. When I arrived she got really upset. Apparently she had spoken to my dad on the phone the day before and when she asked how I was, he told her about my crazy plan to go to university and how he just didn’t understand it. He explained that they were refusing to pay for me to go because it was a waste of money and how he knew I’d never get any help. So she handed me a cheque, she had found out how much tuition fees and students loans were and she gave it all to me. I was so shocked, obviously I knew they had done well out of the business before my granddad retired and handed it down but I presumed they would have the same opinion as my parents. She told me that when she was younger she didn’t have a choice about her future because of her parents. She said she didn’t regret anything because she loved my granddad, all her children and grandchildren but it wasn’t what she would have chosen and she wanted me to be happy.” I feel the tears start falling now. “She died of a heart attack two months later. I was devastated but determined to make her proud. So here I am, still working at Cocoa’s because I love it but with my own business that has nothing to do with my family.”
“Sorry, I think I’m missing the point, what has this got to do with my original question about all the guys?” Ryan looks confused.
“Other than my gran and the Morrison’s, I never felt loved. Those two people who are meant to love and support you no matter what didn’t care about me, other than for continuing the family to ensure the business would continue. When I started going out with boys they made me feel special, feel needed and wanted. At first it was just handholding and kissing but it wasn’t long before I was experimenting with more ways to feel needed. I never went out to ho myself around loads of guys. I was trying to find a nice one. I am well aware that it was my own fault because I put out to easily but I was young and naïve and thought it would make them stick around. All I’ve ever wanted was to find someone to love me and take care of me, like you did with Hannah. I want someone to look at me like I am his reason for living. I was so jealous of you guys.” I’m a blubbering mess by the time I’ve finished and I find myself wrapped in Ryan’s arms again.
“I’m so sorry, I keep crying on you, you must be getting fed up of me,” I say once I’ve calmed down.
“Don’t be stupid, I’ve been wanting to know about your parents for years but Hannah would never tell me, she said it was your story to tell. I’m so sorry your parents were like that, you deserve them to love you. And I know it’s not quite the same but you know you’ve got me, right? I’ll always take care of you. I love you Molly, you are my best friend.”
“I love you too, Ry.”
“Your prince charming will come when you least expect it, I promise.”
I feel him kiss my head, he’s right, it’s not quite the same but it’s bloody good. I squeeze him a little tighter and try my hardest to ignore the tingles that erupt where our naked skin is touching.
Ryan
I presumed most of the things Molly said about her parents from the little bits I have heard before but hearing it first hand still shocks me. I’m so angry that they could treat their daughter that way, could try to control her into doing what they wanted. I feel more grateful than ever for my family. Okay yes, they tried to do something similar but they accepted my decision in the end and have supported me all the way.
My parents are both very traditional, they always believed that a man should get a manly job like working in construction, he should find a nice woman, marry her and make loads of babies together. They believed, a little like Molly’s parents I guess, that the woman should stay home and raise the children while the man works hard to support his family. This is what they wanted for me, to leave school, get an apprenticeship in a trade, find a job close to home and a nice girlfriend. They never imagined me leaving Liverpool.
I wanted the opposite though, just like Molly. I’d wanted to go to college, study sport science and become a PE teacher from as early as I can remember, and I knew I wanted to leave Liverpool to experience another city. I spent years researching and visiting places that I might want to go. I came down to Oxford one weekend with a couple of mates and just fell in love with the city. So Oxford Brookes University it was, all I then had to do was get the grades.
My parents have visited me down here a couple of times but mostly I go up to them. They were not impressed to say the least when I decided to stay in Oxford to do my teacher training, and then even less impressed when I decided to stay for good. The only bit they liked about it all was Hannah. They loved her. I may not have followed their plan for me with regards to my job and where I wanted to live but I managed to find the nice girlfriend to settle down with and they were over the moon about that.
My parents eased up a little after I moved away. My two younger sisters, Abbi who is now twenty-one is about to start her last year of university in Manchester doing primary teaching and Liv who is nineteen and has just finished her first year in Cardiff doing journalism, didn’t seem get half as much grief as I did when I decided to go away. I often remind my sisters about how much they need to thank me for making their lives easier as it always seemed to be the case that I got all the hassle for the decisions I made but when they came to make their decisions our mum and dad just seemed to go with it.
“I just wish mine would have come around to the idea like yours did,” Molly says quietly.
I have been explaining all about my family to Molly for the last half an hour. It’s nice to have someone else understand what it was like, although my parents were there for me in the end and still are.
“When was the last time you spoke to your parents?”
“Um…I actually can’t remember. I speak to Steven and Daniel quiet often, they tend to keep me updated with what’s going on in the family.”
“Have you always got on with your brothers okay then?” I’ve only met her brothers once, at Hannah’s funeral. They came to support Molly, which told me they were nice guys, unlike her parents who couldn’t possibly leave their holiday a day early. But as you can imagine I didn’t get to talk to them and she hasn’t really mentioned them since.
“Yeah, we speak most weeks. We are as close as we can be with such a big age gap. They have always supported my decision to break away from the family business and have never held it against me. They have both told me on separate occasions that they really wanted to be part of it and really enjoy taking on the renovations and rental side of the estate agency my dad runs. They have started up a sister company that they have control over and by all accounts it’s doing really well.”
“That’s good. I’m glad you have them to turn to if you need them.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“It’s your birthday soon, you’ll hear from your parents then right?”
“Oh yeah, I’ll hear from them.”
We’ve been sat out on the balcony in the sun all afternoon reminiscing mostly about Hannah but our families and friends as well. We have somehow managed to drink our way though two pitchers of Pimms whilst out here, I don’t know about Molly but I’m starting to feel a little buzzed with the mixture of sun and alcohol.
I watch as she pops the last bit of fruit from her glass into her mouth and I am mesmerised by how sexy she looks doing something so simple. When her tongue comes out to lick away the juice on her lips I know I need to get up and do something. “Now it’s cooling down I think I’ll go for a run along the beach.” I stand up and begin collecting our glasses.
“Okay, I was thinking of heading in for a shower and getting dressed for dinner anyway. I’m feeling quite cooked!”
