Page 84 of Molly: Part One
Chapter 21
Molly
I’ve been in bed for forty minutes and still can’t wipe the smile off my face. That was…well…just wow. I don’t even know how to describe it other than completely out of this world amazing. I can still feel the electric shocks going off around my body and his tongue moving against mine.
When Ryan’s lips are on mine, I feel things I never have before. I feel beautiful, sexy, wanted, needed, safe, loved.
Loved.
Holy shit, I’m in love with Ryan. It hits me like an articulated lorry in that moment. Fuuuuck, how did I not realise this before?
My heart starts pounding in my chest as the realisation settles in, I’m in love with Ryan Evans. Not just a little in love, full blown earth shatteringly in love with him.
Needless to say I don’t get much sleep. I spend most of the time tossing and turning wondering what to do about my situation. Do I just dump Adam? Do I just announce to Ryan how I feel? Will he feel the same? What will everyone think? Will his parents accept me? There is too much running round my head for me to drift off to sleep, I think my brain eventually shuts down with exhaustion about three am, giving me three hours of sleep where all I did was dream about Ryan and how far this evening could have gone if I didn’t stop it.
“Morning gorgeous,” Ryan says with a huge smile on his face as he walks over to where I am in the kitchen and wraps his arms around me pulling me in to a bone-crushing hug.
“Morning,” I say but his chest, that I’m pressed against, muffles it.
“I’ve got to go, I’ve got a meeting before school.” He presses a quick kiss on my lips before going to leave the room. “I’ll see you later.”
Oh shit, I’d forgotten about my date with Adam. Fuck it, I can’t just cancel last minute. He’s been really good to me, he deserves better than that. “I…uh… I’m out tonight remember?” I watch his face drop as he remembers where I’m going or more so who with.
“Oh, you’re still going?” he asks shaking his head. “Sorry, I just thought…” He runs his hands through his hair and turns away from me. “Have a good time.” And with that said he leaves the room and soon after the house.
“Fuck.” I didn’t mean to hurt him but I need to deal with Adam the right way. He’s been a good friend to me. I think I knew from the beginning nothing was really going to happen with us romantically. He just didn’t do it for me, but he’s a really good guy.
“Molly, are you okay? You’ve been really distracted all night?” Adam asks me looking concerned.
“Um, yeah. I’ve just got a headache. It’s been a long day.” That’s not a lie. I’ve spent all day worrying about Ryan. I’ve texted him a couple of time but have only had short replies. He’s really not happy with me. I need to talk to him.
I give Adam my apologies and make my way home not long after that conversation. He says goodbye but still has a concerned look on his face.
The house is in darkness when I get home so I presume Ryan has already gone to bed, that or he doesn’t want to talk to me and is hiding in his room. I get myself a glass of water and a couple of painkillers before getting myself ready for bed.
I’m laid in bed facing away from the door, feeling sorry for Adam and trying to figure out the best way to deal with this whole situation when I hear my bedroom door open. I’m not surprised, I’ve noticed Ryan always comes down to check on me after I’ve been out with Adam. I guess he just wants to make sure I’m home safe or something.
I keep my eyes shut and keep still knowing that he will leave in a minute. But he doesn’t, and after a few seconds I feel my bed dip as he sits behind me. I feel him gently sweep a piece of my hair out of my face and tuck it behind my ear. I have to really focus on my breathing not to let my heart rate pick up giving away that I’m awake.
He sits there a while longer, obviously watching me. I’m dying to open my eyes but I have a pretty good idea of what will happen if I do and I’m not in the right place to be doing anything right now, my head’s all over the place.
The bed dips again and I feel Ryan’s lips touch my shoulder with a gentle kiss.
“Goodnight sweet Molly. I love you,” he whispers before getting up, walking away and up the stairs.
My eyes are as wide as they can go as soon as I know he can’t see me. What the fuck did he just say? He loves me? Ryan is in love with me, just like I am with him. Shit. I’m not sure if this makes everything simpler or more complicated.
“Hi angel, how are you?” Susan asks as I sit myself on a bar stool in Cocoa’s.
It’s Thursday night and I’m meant to be meeting Emma in ten minutes. I’m feeling really apprehensive about what she is going to say to me. The last time I saw her was at the Morrison’s after my birthday. She has avoided me ever since.
I didn’t see Ryan last night because I did a late shift here for Susan, he was already in bed when I got in. I didn’t need to go and check because I could hear him snoring from the living room.
“I’m good. You?”
“Yes, can’t complain. Looking forward to Christmas and having Lilly and Dec back. I miss them so bad when they are gone. Emma is still out of the house all the time and we still have no idea where she is or what she’s doing.”
“I’m meant to be meeting her here in a few minutes.”
