Page 37 of Lilly
“I like it that way. I don’t need anyone questioning where I camefrom.”
“And where wasthat?”
“Hell.”
I watch as the shutters come down. Even mentioning it must take him back to a dark place. Lucas falls onto his back and looks up to the blue sky above. He doesn’t make a noise; he just stares. I watch him for a few minutes but soon realise he probably needs a reminder that he is no longer in hell, and is here with me. I lean over and gently place my lips against his. He doesn’t move for the longest time but eventually I feel his lips part and his tongue run across my bottomlip.
When I pull back he’s looking directly into my eyes and thankfully he doesn’t look as closed off as he previouslydid.
“I’m sorry,” hewhispers.
“Nothing to be sorry for, Lucas. We’ve both got demons that haunt us. Maybe it’ll become a little easier to bear once weshare.”
“Maybe,” he says but it doesn’t sound like he agrees. Time will tell Iguess.
“Shall we head back?” I ask when I realise the sun is starting to set behind the trees that hide us from the hustle and bustle of the city behindus.
“Sure.”
Silently, we gather up all our things and walk hand in hand away from our little patch of grass. I fear that Lucas is still lost in his memories and I don’t want him to spend the rest of the night thatway.
“We could go somewhere,” Ioffer.
“Oh yeah, likewhere?”
“I don’t know. Just walk around, take it allin.”
“Okay.”
We walk around central London for hours. We walk up Oxford Street and take in all the shoppers hopping from one store to the next. We get a coffee and sit in Leicester Square as people set up barriers for what looks like a film premier tonight. Then, we head toward Covent Garden. We watch all the different kinds of street entertainment before finding a bar to get a drinkin.
As the minutes tick by, I see that Lucas is beginning return to his usual self, and I’m more thangrateful.
Some of his memories must have been lingering in the background though, because when we get back to our hotel room he drops the bags he’s been carrying on the floor before disappearing into thebathroom.
I listen as the water starts running. I argue with myself about what to do. Do I stay here and wait for him to reappear, or do I go and joinhim?
In the end, I decide to strip out of my clothes and head for the shower. My breath catches in my throat when I get there. He’s stood with his head bent forward, the water cascading down hisback.
The opening of the shower door catches his attention and he looks up at me, but it’s not with the kind of heat in his eyes that I’m used to. I don’t think he even notices that I’mnaked.
I step inside and pull the door shut behind me. I stand right up against him and place my lips to his. Just like earlier, it takes a few seconds but he soon responds and within a minute he has me backed up against the tiles with my legs wrapped around hiswaist.
By the time he’s finished, the shadows have totally lifted from his eyes and I have my Lucas back. I hate the idea of him hurting so much when he thinks about the past, but we will have to talk about it at somepoint.
