Page 4 of Lilly
When Taylor findsme hours later, it’s with flour in my hair, cake batter splatted over his hoodie and a bottle of vodka and cans of Coke littering the coffee table in front of me. There are also cold mugs of coffee littering the surfaces of the living room andkitchen.
“What happened, Lil?” he asks after he’s assessed thesituation.
I met Taylor not long after I started uni. He’s a couple of years older than me as he started late, but he’s also coming towards the end of his degree. He’s studying photography while I do interior design. My wonderful parents bought this flat towards the end of our first year, and we moved in together as soon as we could. We know each other inside out, so I shouldn’t have been expecting him not to question me rightnow.
“Connie had her baby,” I slur sadly, focusing on the news I’ve received that I can talk about. I have no intention of telling him yet about the disaster that was work thismorning.
“Oh,” he responds, looking half happy for Connie and half sad forme.
“A little boy. Noah,” I say, holding my phone up for him tosee.
“Aw, cute.” Taylor puts his stuff down, then comes to sit next to me and pulls me to him. He totally engulfs my tiny frame when he bear hugs me, making me feel like a china doll. “It’s going to be okay,Lil.”
Along with Dec, Taylor knows everything that happened last year, as does Connie now as well. None of them agree with me keeping what happened to myself. They think it will help me come to terms with it all if I tell the rest of my family, but I can’t bring myself to do it. My parents and Emma have already been through too much heartache, and my childhood best friend, Nicole, is going through her own nightmare at the moment. None of them need me to burden them withmore.
“I know,” I reply as I swallow down my sorrow. “Daniel also proposed to Beth on the EiffelTower.”
“No shit. She’s really got him whipped,” he says with alaugh.
When he pulls back from me, he leans down to his bag and grabssomething.
“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he says with a smile as he hands me a single rose. The gesture makes my eyes fill with tears. He’s such asweetheart.
“Thank you,Tay.”
“Dave wasn’t in, so…” he says with a shrug but laughs, telling me he’sjoking.
“I love you,” I say as I wrap my arms around his neck. Taylor’s like my adopted brother, there isn’t anything he doesn’t know about me. I’m feeling a little out of the loop where he’s concerned though. He’s been out a lot recently and I have no idea what he’s up to. He’s reluctant to share when I question him aboutit.
“So what have I got to eat then?” He walks off towards the kitchen that is covered in all sorts of baked goodies, including cupcakes, flapjacks and millionaire’s shortbread. “Bloody hell, Lil, you were on it this afternoon,” he says with a laugh as he shovels an entire cupcake into his mouth in one go. “So good,” he mumbles with a fullmouth.
* * *
When I getup the next morning, the kitchen is still covered in a dusting of flour and icing sugar. There are bottles and cans all over the living room and my head is spinning. I take one look at all the cake and run to the toilet to throwup.
“Too much noise,” I hear mumbled from Taylor’s room as I walk past aftershowering.
I stare daggers at his closed door. I should still be in bed sleeping the effects of the vodka off, not getting dressed to head to work, where I’m pretty I’m going to be fired and sent straight back home the second I getthere.
I curse myself when I realise my work trousers are still wet in the washing machine, and pull my skinny jeans back on again. Well, if I’m going to be sacked anyway, I guess it doesn’t really matter. As I do up the button, I notice how big they are on me, reminding me how much weight I’ve lost. I didn’t really have any to lose in the first place. I’ve always been skinny and tall. Where most women work towards losing weight and reducing their curves, I’ve always wanted more. I’m practically straight up and down; it makes me feel like a little girl. Especially when I stand next to Molly and Emma—they have such amazing curvaceous figures, and I look like a six-year-old. No guy’s going to look twice at me likethis.
I let go of my waistband and look at myself in the mirror. My ribs are sticking out along with my hipbones, and my belly…it’s totally non-existent. The only thing I see now when I look at it is the ugly scar I’ve been left with. A constant reminder of my what happened, of mymistake.
I shake off my thoughts and continue to get ready before heading out. It’s still dark as I walk the short distance to the hotel. I could drive but I find the walk soothing, especially at this time of morning. The early spring is the best when the mornings are crisp but the sun is rising and the birds are singing. It makes everything seem that little bit better. It distracts me from the fact I could be about to go and clean a hotel room that might have used condoms scattered around the place, or some guy’s stained underwear abandoned on the floor. I shudder at the thought of some of the things I’ve found over the last couple of years. But then, I remember my new promotion—if you can call it that. It feels more like I’ve slipped down the ranks having to comply to all the King’s weird quirks. I’m pretty sure only the man himself could do the job. Not that it matters now, because I’m about to be sent on my merry way. I don’t think I’ve got the energy to find a new job right now. I’m in my last few months of uni, and I really don’t need the distraction. I’d hate to have to ask Mum and Dad for money, though. I want to fend for myself wherepossible.
I’m the first to arrive, exactly as I planned. I want to get this out of the way before the others appear and have to watch me do my walk of shame after handing my ID badge in. I couldn’t bear to see the looks on Imogen and Eve’s faces as Ileave.
“Lilly, you’re early,” Hilary says as I walk into the cleaners’ room that houses her desk. “Keen to getstarted?”
“Something like that,” I mutter. I don’t move to put my stuff in my locker. I just stand behind her, waiting for theinevitable.
“Did you want to ask me something?” Hilary asks when she turns and finds me still stood there. I go to open my mouth, but nothing comes out. “Mr. Dalton was very happy with your workyesterday.”
My chin drops open inshock.
“What’s that face for? I knew you were the right woman for the job, Lilly. Give yourself somecredit.”
“I…uh…thanks,” I mutter before turning towards thelockers.
