Page 61 of Lilly
Chapter Fourteen
Lilly
“Where did this come from?”Hilary asks when she finishes reading the letter I just handedover.
“It’s been coming. Now I’ve finished uni, it’s time to move on,” I say in the hope she believesme.
I got up bright and early this morning so I could beat everyone else in. I didn’t want to see anyone. I wanted to do this and get out—preferably without having to see or even have Lucas’ name mentioned. The girls said yesterday that he wasn’t there, so I washopeful.
“We’re really going to miss you, Lilly.” Hilary says before giving me a hug. I feel myself tear up but I refuse to get emotional because that will lead to questions. I don’t needquestions.
I feel like I’m at a complete loose end when I walk out of the hotel I’ve worked at for the last two and a half years. I may not know what I’m going to do now, but I do know that it needs to not be working there, where I have constant reminders of Lucas and risk running into him. Handing my notice in with immediate effect wasn’t a decision that took too long tomake.
I walked out of that place with my head held high. I might not feel all that brave inside, but I wasn’t going to let anyone see that Lucas Dalton had broken me. I’m stronger and prouder than that. I’m aMorrison.
I walk down the street from the hotel and order myself a decaf tea and a Danish pastry. The smell of coffee, like always, settles my nerves about what I just did. I find myself a seat in the back corner where I have little chance of anyone spotting me and pull my phone out. I send a group text to Imogen and Eve to meet me here after their shift. When I saw them yesterday I had no clue I was going to leave, so now I think I owe them an explanation. And I’m sure they’ll have a load more questions to fire atme.
Deciding it’s probably about time to learn about this pregnancy thing, I pull up the app store on my phone. I remember Connie and Molly showing me one they had that tracked the baby’s progress, and it looked prettyhelpful.
I find what I want and download it before putting all my detailsin.
I sit and look at the phone as it loads, and when an image appears of a baby, I have to fight the urge to puke. This is sosurreal.
I look through everything I can find and by the time I’m finished, my tea is stone cold, but I have a bit more of a clue as to what’s going on inside my body. I roughly know what size they should be and how developed they are, along with all the really exciting things I should be expecting from my body. Nausea, headaches, bleeding gums, a change in sexual desire—well, that happened from the moment I got up close and personal to Lucas. I can only hope that it will decrease again now he’s gone, because I’m going to have an issueotherwise.
I feel the first waves of excitement about my pregnancy begin to bubble up as I sit and look at the app. So much so I decide to spend the rest of the morning while the girls are at work embracing it. I quickly eat my pastry and order another decaf tea to go before wandering down into town and looking around every shop that has either maternity or baby stuffin.
I buy myself some maternity leggings and a couple of tops but I don’t go crazy. Reading the app, it looks like my little tadpoles are going to do some serious growing in the next few weeks so I think another shopping trip will be in order before long. I’m achingly aware of my financial situation though, so I’m hoping I may be able to borrow some stuff from Molly or Connie to make it a little easier. Just thinking about how much stuff the babies are going to need brings me out in a sweat, especially as I’ve just jacked in my only source of income. I ask myself for the millionth time what I’m doing, but just like all the other times, I don’t have ananswer.
I check the time on my phone and notice that Imogen and Eve should be finishing soon, so I grab my bags from the counter and begin walking back to the coffee shop. I stop at a cash point along the way to see how dire my situation is. I punch in my code and go to the balance area of the screen. I brace myself for how pathetic the amount is going to be, but when the figure appears my eyes nearly pop out of myhead.
“What onearth?”
I cancel the transaction and pull my card out before marching inside thebank.
“Hi,” I say in a rush when I get greeted by the assistant behind the glass screen. “I think there’s been some error made on my account. I just checked my balance and it’s got over twenty thousand pounds in it. I was expecting a couple of thousand atbest.”
“Okay, let’s have a look. Pop your card into the machine.” I do as I’m told and wait while she clicks around on her computer. “No, that seems to be correct, Miss Morrison. A payment was made into your account from an L Dalton about an hour ago, with a reference ofbabies.” I lean forward with my elbow on the small counter and put my face in my hands. “Are you okay, Madam?” the assistantasks.
I lift my eyes and look at her though my fingers as I think about my answer. “Yes, I’m fine,” is what I go for in the end as I pull my card out and walkaway.
I don’t know why I’m so shocked really. I almost feel stupid for not expecting something like this. Lucas isn’t a horrible person. He wouldn’t allow me to struggle. His presence would be much better than his money, mind you. She said the money only went in an hour ago, so I’m presuming he already knows about myresignation.
I find myself an empty bench outside the bank, pull my phone from my bag and dial his number. Just like all the other times, it goes straight to voicemail. Red smoke descends around me as his voice enters mybrain.
“Lucas,” I bark, sounding very unlike me, “you’d better ring me back when you get this. I’m outside the bank. What the hell do you think you’re playing at? You don’t get to just throw money at me in an attempt to clear your conscience. Money will not solve any of this. If you don’t want anything to do with me and your babies, then that’s fine, but at least have the decency to show your face and tell me in person. You don’t get to buy me off, Lucas. You are just as much to blame for this situation as I am, so stop running away.” I end the call with a sharp stab to my screen. I lower my hand and see that it’s shaking. I’m so angry with him. How dare he treat me likethis?
I’ve calmed down slightly when I get back to the coffee shop. I’m late though, so Imogen and Eve are already sat at a table with my tea. I plonk myself down in the seat and hold the mug in the palms of my hands, letting the heat sootheme.
“What’s happened now, and why have you jacked your jobin?”
I explain to Imogen and Eve the best I can, but it’s hard when I really have no idea myself what I’m doing. They both look concerned, but don’t question mydecision.
* * *
Ipullinto my space outside our building just as an ambulance pulls in. My nosiness gets the better of me and I sit and wait to see what’s going on. When I see paramedics wheel my elderly upstairs neighbour out of the back, I rush out of the car. Shelia has lived upstairs forever. I thought it had been quiet the last few days. I guess this explains it. As they turn the wheelchair around, I see that she has a cast on herleg.
“Lilly, my dear, how are you?” she asks with a smile as I rushover.
