Page 64 of Lilly
“No thanks, Dad. Actually, before we start eating, Ruben and I have something we would like to tell youall.”
All eyes snap to Emma. I glance at Mum to see a ginormous smile on her face; she knows as well as I do what’s coming next. We all wait anxiously for her to spit itout.
“You’re going to be grandparents,” she says, looking between Mum and Dad. “To twins,obviously!”
Mum gets up with such force her chair goes flying back as she launches herself at my sister, while Dad sits there with a bemused look on his face. Okay, so when I said everyone knew what was coming, apparently that didn’t include Dad, blesshim.
“Everyone says their congratulations before questions start getting fired towards both Emma andRuben.
“I’m nearly thirteen weeks so due beginning of November, but it’s more likely to be October with it beingtwins.”
I get lost in my own head as she continues to answer all the questions in the exact same way I could right now. I feel bad as she talks excitedly about her pregnancy, like I’m going to be taking something away from her when I announce mine. This is obviously something she and Ruben planned for and are so excited about, and here I am having an accident, an amazing one, but still an accident, and I’m going to take some of her limelight. I know she won’t hold it against me in any way, but I already feel like I make her life that little bit harder by how much I look like Hannah. I don’t need to do this to her aswell.
“Sorry, I just need to pop to the loo,” I say quietly in case anyone actually notices my disappearance. I give Emma a hug as I pass and Ruben a shoulder squeeze incongratulations.
I sit down on the closed toilet lid and put my head in my hands. I lose track of how long I sit there, totally lost in my thoughts. When I’m back with it, I realise I need to get a grip if I want to get through the next few hours without having a meltdown.This would be so much easier if Dec was here, I think as I splash cold water on myface.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Mum asks again when I sit backdown.
“Hangover,” I mutter in response and it appeases her for now because she turns back toEmma.
The next few hours are a blur of talking pregnancy, babies, childbirth and everything else that comes along with that stage of your life. I listen to some of it, especially Molly’s giving birth story, because I have no clue about any of that. I’ve not even seenOne Born Every Minute. I make a note to record it next time it’son.
Eventually, Emma starts yawning so Ruben takes her home, Lois starts grumbling so Molly and Ryan say their goodbyes to get her home to bed, and I’m left with my mum and dad. It’s now ornever.
“Hey, do you need help with that?” I ask them as walk into thekitchen.
“That would be great,” Mum responds, “Dad’s running a training course tomorrow in Birmingham. He’s going to the hotel tonight so he can be prepared for themorning.”
“Off you go and sort your stuff out then,” I say to Dad as I take the tea towel from his hands and usher him out of thekitchen.
I don’t want him to feel like I can’t talk to him or don’t want him here, but I am a little relieved I’m going to be able to tell Mum everythingalone.
“Ring me when you get there,” Mum says, giving Dad a kiss when he has his small case in his hand, ready toleave.
“I will. See you tomorrow. Bye love,” he shouts over tome.
“Goodluck.”
“Right, angel. You’re hovering; I’m guessing you have something you need to talk about.” I look up at her from my seat on the sofa and I can’t hold back my emotions any longer. My bottom lip starts to wobble and tears run down my cheeks. “Oh, it’s okay,” Mum says as she wraps me up in ahug.
“I don’t know where to start,” I admit when I pullback.
“The beginning,angel.”
“You’re going to be so mad because there’s stuff I haven’t toldyou.”
“Stop stalling and just tell me. I’ll make my mind upthen.”
“Okay. You remember I had a boyfriend last year?” Mum nods so I keep going. “Well…he was amazing at first. I thought he was too good to be true, and he was. He had been brought up by his grandparents and they both died a month or so apart. Jake didn’t take it very well. He started drinking to begin with but it wasn’t long before he started playing with drugs. I should have ended it, I know I should, but I felt guilty even thinking about it when he was hurting already. The more he drank and did drugs, the more unlike himself he became. He started getting angry at the smallest things, and jealous and paranoid that I was cheating onhim.
“One night last summer, I’d been out with friends for some drinks. One of Taylor’s friends walked me home. We said goodbye at the entrance but Jake obviously didn’t see that. I hadn’t been in the flat long before he started knocking at the front door. When I opened it, he was angrier than I’d ever seen him. He started accusing me of sleeping around. He threw me down the stairs and knocked me out,” my mum’s hand comes up to cover her mouth as she sucks in a huge gasp of air at my words. “And then he stabbedme.”
“Oh my goodness,” she says in a rush and pulls me to her. She squeezes me within an inch of my life. I’m just about to complain that I can’t breathe when she letsgo.
“Dec knew something was going on, and thankfully when he phoned I was able to answer. Anyway, he got an ambulanceand…”
“And he never told us aboutthis?”
