Page 70 of Lilly
Emma reaches over and takes my hand in hers for support as I continue to splutter and sob veryunattractively.
“He doesn’t look like the kind of man who takes being told no easily,” Emma sayseventually.
“He’s not. I’m not stupid enough to think that’s the last I’m going to see ofhim.”
After Emma drops me off, I head up to my flat to have a quick shower. It’s weird being here alone now. Although towards the end Taylor wasn’t around much, it’s still strange knowing he isn’t going to appear at somepoint.
I pull on some comfortable clothes and don’t bother doing anything with my hair before heading upstairs to sort Shelia out. Since the day I helped her settle back in, I’ve been helping her out with her chores. She’s so grateful for the help, she’s insisted on paying me. I refused to accept it for a long time, but I had to cave in the end, and if I’m honest the money is a great help now I’m pregnant and unemployed. I’ve picked up some shifts in Mum’s coffee shop, so that, along with the little bit that Shelia gives me, is keeping me going at themoment.
I’ve only made one purchase with the money Lucas stashed in my account, and I’m determined not to spend any more, but I couldn’t resist buying myself a more comfortable bed. I put up with aching hips for a week before I headed to the bed shop for an upgrade. So far, it’s the best purchase I’ve evermade.
I’m not in Shelia’s flat five minutes before I discover how Lucas found me at my yoga class. Shelia is angry with him after everything I’ve told her, but I still feel like she might have a sweet spot for him, even though she’s only met him briefly. She spends the rest of my visit telling me I need to hear him out, that holding off will only make everythingharder.
I know she’s right. I’d like to have everything sorted out between us before these two appear. I’m just not sure I want to hear it. There have been weeks where it was all I wanted—to open the front door and find him stood there. But I’ve grown since then. I’ve realised that I don’t need him, that I can do this alone. I don’t want to, but I know Ican.
* * *
It seems beingable to ignore Lucas now he has reappeared is going to be impossible. I look around my living room at all the deliveries I’ve received throughout this week and sigh. It’s covered with bunches of all colours of lilies, boxes of chocolates, and some mummy-to-besets.
I decide I’ve put it off long enough and unlock my phone. I find his name and stare at it for a few seconds as I try to decide if this is the right thing to do ornot.
“Lilly,” he says, soundingrelieved.
“You can’t buy me back, Lucas,” I snap, a little harsher than I intended. I didn’t ring for afight.
“I know that. I just wanted you to know that I’m thinking of you. That I never stopped,Lilly.”
“It would have saved you a lot of brain power if you’d just stuck around.” I hear his sharp intake of breath at my words. It makes me want to apologise for being short with him, but I stand my ground. He’s in the wronghere.
“Please can we talk? I could come over,” he asks, hope in his voice. This was what I was afraid of—that I would reach out and suddenly he would think everything wasokay.
“NO,” I shout inpanic
“No?”
“Don’t come here.”I don’t trust myself. I’m already struggling with my pregnancy-heightened sex drive; I really don’t need to be alone in the same room as him. I’ll end up climbing him or something embarrassing. “I’ll meet you in the coffee shop around thecorner.”
“What I need to tell you isn’t something I want to discuss in public,Lilly.”
“Well, that’s all I’m offering. Take it or leaveit.”
“Okay. I’ll meet you there in thirtyminutes.”
I was hoping for a little more time to prepare but I mutter my agreement and head back to my bedroom to getready.
I’m just walking through the main door to my building when my phone starts ringing. Hope flares that it might me Lucas cancelling and I won’t have to do this, but the second I pull my phone out and see Nicole’s name, I hate to say I’m a little disappointed, although I’m kind of relieved I now have a reason to belate.
I sit down on the bench overlooking the grounds and put my phone to myear.
“Lilly, I’m so sorry I didn’t get back to you last night. I had a bit of a crazy day withmum.”
“It’s okay, don’tworry.”
“Everything’s okay with the babies then, I’m guessing, looking at the scanpicture.”
“Yes ,they’re perfect. Lucas showedup.”
“NO!”
