Page 71 of Lilly
“Yep, just sat there in the waiting room. I couldn’t believeit.”
“Fucking dick,” Nic mutters under her breath. “What did youdo?”
“WhatcouldI do? We were in a hospital, and he is the dad, afterall.”
“You let himin?”
“Of course. I can put aside how he’s treated me for the benefit of ourbabies.”
“Well, that’s big of you, Lills. I’m not sure I could have done the same thing. Do you think you’ll see himagain?”
“I’m actually on my way to meet him now. You’re currently making me suitably late. I’m quite happy for him to sit there, sweating about whether I’m going to turn up ornot.”
“I can’t believe you haven’t told him where to stick it.” I think if any one of my friends were in my current situation, I would be saying exactly the same things, but it’s different when it’s actually happening to you. They don’t know Lucas like I do. I know he’s not a horrible person. I’m pretty sure that whatever made him run off was to do with the skeletons in his closet about his own childhood. It will be different if I discover I’m wrong, and it’s because he thinks I got myself pregnant on purpose to trap him or something. I try not to let thoughts like that enter my head, because I’m pretty sure he knows me better than that as well, and that he believed me when I told him I didn’t think falling pregnant was apossibility.
“I think there’s more to it. He has areason.”
“No reason is good enough to do what he did, Lilly. He abandonedyou.”
“I know,” I whisper as the hurt I’ve been dealing with the last few weeks creeps its way back in. “How’re things with you?” I ask, changing the subject. I’m already in for an afternoon discussing the situation with Lucas; I could do without itnow.
“Same. She’s still declining, just slowly. It feels like it’s never-ending.” I hate hearing her sound so defeated, and I hate even more that me wishing for it to get better means I’m wishing for her mum to passaway.
We chat for a while longer before I decide I’ve probably made him wait long enough. We say our goodbyes and I hang up. She won’t tell me what she plans to do when her mum’s gone. I have no idea if she’s planning on staying up there or even moving to the other side of the world. She won’t commit to anything. I totally understand why, but I’d love to know she’s possibly considering a move back down here. We may not be family by blood, but she’s my sister in every other way, and I know my parents love her. Dec not so much, but he’s not hereanyway.
Thinking about my brother makes my heart a little heavy. I really miss him at the moment. I mean, I always miss him, but since finding out I’m pregnant it’s even worse. We’ve gone through everything in life together, and I hate not having him here for this. It’s made me think more seriously about whether to make the move down there with him, but the thought of leaving the support of my parents when I’m going to have two babies puts me offsomewhat.
I let out a sigh and try to put thoughts of my future aside as I slide my phone back into my bag. Mum and Dad have offered for me to go back home so they can help, and they’ve also said I can stay in the flat rent-free, but I have no idea what I want. Ideally, I want to be with Lucas, but I have no idea if that’s going to be anoption.
“I thought you’d changed your mind,” Lucas says when I step up to the table he’s sat at. I stood at the window of the coffee shop watching him for a few minutes before entering. He looked totally lost, sat there staring into space. It’s not a look I’m used to seeing on him. He usually looks so in control ofeverything.
The second he registered me walking through the door, his expression completely changed. Gone was the sad and lost look, and in its place was relief. A lot ofrelief.
“I wouldn’t do that to you,” I say, but don’t really think about thewords.
“I’m so sorry, Lilly,” Lucas says, and it makes me realise that he thought I was going to abandon him like he did me. “I got you a tea, but it’s probably cold now.” I look to the table where there’s a pot of tea, a teacup and saucer, along with a blueberrymuffin.
“That’s okay. I need decaf anyway. I’ll get another one,” I say, going to move towards thecounter.
“Itisdecaf, Lilly,” he says sadly, making me stop in my tracks and turn around. He must see the question in my eyes because he quietly says, “I’ve looked everything up. I know what you should and shouldn’thave.”
My heart melts. He may have been God knows where these last few weeks, but he’s read up onpregnancy.
“Sit down, I’ll get you a freshpot.”
I do as I’m told and plonk my arse in the chair he pulls out for me, and watch as he walks off to get me a new tea. My heart flutters as I think about Lucas sat reading pregnancy magazines just like I have. I wonder if he’s looked at baby stuff as well. The thoughts get my hopes up that maybe he does want this and that he’s willing to deal with whatever it was that caused him tobolt.
“Here you go,” he says as he places the new pot in front of me and sitsdown.
We stare at each other across the table, both taking each other in. Remembering each other’sfeatures.
He looks the same as I remember, only more stressed and tired than I’ve ever seen himbefore.
I open my mouth to say something to break the awkward silence that’s descended over us, but he beats me toit.
“You look beautiful, Lilly. I always thought it was bullshit when I heard people describe pregnant women as glowing, but you really are. Pregnancy suitsyou.”
“Thank you,” Imutter.
