Page 9 of Taylor
“I’m okay,” I say as I attempt to pull myself up to a sitting position. I just about get my arms under me before Caleb starts to help. Fuck, I feel useless. He really did a number on me. How I don’t have anything broken is beyondme.
Lilly walks over and squeezes her skinny arse on the bed next to me. She leans forward and gives me a very gentle hug, followed by a kiss to theforehead.
“It washim, wasn’tit?”
“Lilly,” I warn but it’s pointless because I know she won’t stop until she knows thetruth.
“Don’tLillyme,Taylor.”
“Yes, it washim.”
“Who’s him?” Caleb asks from next to me, but neither Lilly or Irespond.
“Why? What was his excuse thistime?”
“I was trying to help her, Lilly. I thought she meant it this time. I thought she was going to leave him for real. She rang me a couple of weeks ago after he’d gone to the pub. She was a state; I can only imagine what she looked like. She told me it was the final straw this time, that she was leaving. I told her I’d help in any way I could to get her away from that monster, so I booked her a train ticket to come to London. The train should have arrived yesterday afternoon,” I admitsadly.
“Whathappened?”
“He found the ticket. I don’t know how. I’d set her up a new email and I was the only other person with the details. I told her I’d meet her at the station and I was going to put her up in a hotel for a few days. As I went to leave, I found him stood at the other side of the front door. He was on me before I even knew what was happening. He was spouting all the usual shit about how all I ever did was get in the way, that my dad should have taken me with him when he disappeared. You know how it goes,” I say with a shrug because Lilly knows all thisalready.
His words haunt me. I’d hoped that as I turned into an adult they wouldn’t cut me quite as deep as they did when I was a child, but nothing’s changed and everything’s my fault. It was always my fault he beat Mum up, it was my fault he lost his job…the list goes on. It’s exactly why I got out of there as soon as I could. Mum may be too weak to leave but I certainly wasn’t, although it killed me, knowing I was leaving herthere.
Over the years, I’ve given her mobile phones so she could contact me if she needed to, but I either haven’t heard anything or I’ve discovered via his fists that they’d beendiscovered.
“Do you think she was actually going to go through with it this time?” Lillyasks.
“I guess we’ll never know now. I dread to think what he did to her when he foundout.”
“Taylor, I know it sounds awful but you need to stop getting involved and trying to help. If she truly wants to leave, she’s going to have to do it herself. If you force it, she’ll only go running back tohim.”
I know all this stuff. I’ve said the same thing myself over the years. “But she’s my mum,” I saysadly.
I’d forgotten Caleb was next to me because he hadn’t spoken a word since I started telling Lilly what had happened. The sound of him letting out a long breath reminds me he’sthere.
I feel the warmth of his hand on my shoulder before he says, “Your stepdad did this toyou?”
I nod once. He doesn’t need any more than that. He just heard everything loud andclear.
“And he’s done itbefore?”
“A lot,” Lilly answers forme.
