Page 89 of Falling for Nicole
Chapter Eighteen
Nicole
“Pft, that won’t be happening anytime soon.”Dec’s words ring in my ears like they have done since the moment they passed his lips. I was happy with things how they were. We were having fun, and all that stuff was for worrying about in the future, but suddenly it’s all I can think about. He doesn’t want to get married. I’ve no idea if he doesn’t want to marry me, or just doesn’t want to get married full stop, but hearing those words gutted me.
My head’s a mess. Yesterday was emotionally draining enough; I didn’t need this on top of that. I spend the whole drive home trying to figure out how just a couple of words can throw my world into such a spin, but I can only come up with one answer. I want what everyone around me has. I want stability. I want a family. I don’t necessarily mean I want a load of kids—maybe one day—what I want is someone I can come home to every night and wake up to every morning. I want a home that is ours, and a life together. And I want all that with a guy who wants the same things.
The whole day, I have one eye on the front door, waiting for him to walk through and demand to know what my disappearing act was about. I feel ridiculous that such a flippant comment by him can make me act and feel like this. I don’t want to admit how badly it’s affected me, but I know I’m not going to have a choice. The second he turns up, he’s going to demand to know why I ran away, and saying it’s because I missed Bailey won’t be enough.
Locking the shack up for the night, I look around, not believing he hasn’t been here. I know they had some family stuff happening in Cornwall, but the plan was to head back here once Molly, Ryan and Lois left for their honeymoon. Lucas booked everyone a couple of nights in his hotel so they didn’t have to head home so soon.
My house is in darkness when I get home, apart from the lamp I left on for Bailey in the living room, and my heart drops. Did he really mean what he said, and he knows I ran because of it? Does he think I’m some wedding obsessed girl all of a sudden who needs to know this relationship is going somewhere? Who am I kidding, that’s exactly what I am! I don’t need to get married tomorrow, or even next year, but I need to know he’s in this with me for the long haul. Life’s too short to waste it with someone who doesn’t want the same things as you, no matter how much you love them.
I fall back on to the sofa, feeling sorry for myself as Bailey nudges my arm out of the way so he can snuggle in.
I’m woken when my phone starts ringing in my pocket. The first thing I notice when the screen lights up is the time. It’s half past two in the morning.
My heart plummets when I see Lilly’s name.
“Shit.” In my panic, I manage to drop the phone. I fall to the floor and I’m on my knees when I successfully swipe it to answer.
“What’s wrong?”
“Is Dec with you?” The emotion in her voice makes my heart start to race.
“No. Why?” I ask hesitantly.
“Fuck.He’s not there,”she says away from the phone before I hear mumbling in the background.
“Lilly what’s going on?”
“We’ve…uh…”
“Lilly, just tell me.”
“We’ve had some bad news. He hasn’t taken it very well and he just took off. He’s been drinking, Nic. If he’s got on that bloody bike, I’ll…kill him,” she ends on a whisper.
“Fuck.”
“Nic, I’m so scared. The guys have all gone to see if they can find him, but it’s not going to be good, I can feel it.”
“You don’t know anything yet.” I try my best to calm her down, but I know all too well how they know what’s going on with each other, and if she says he’s in trouble, he is. “Have you called the hospitals?” When her response is to break down, I know it’s the wrong question to ask, but I’m trying to be sensible about this. “Are you at home? I’m coming around.”
“No,” she wails. “Stay there. He might come to you. Please, stay.”
“Okay, okay. Is there anything I can do from here?”
“Pray.” I don’t want to tell her that after everything that happened with Mum and what she went through, I don’t believe in all that, so I reluctantly agree. What else can I do?
We keep the call connected for over an hour in the hope he’ll turn up, but there’s no sign of him, or any word from his search party.
I hung up on Lilly just over thirty minutes ago, and I’ve been sat staring at the blank TV Dec put up on the wall when I hear the rumble of an engine outside.
I throw the front door open when I get there and run out into the street barefoot. My panic ensures I don’t feel any of the stones I stand on as I make my way to the bike pulled up to the curb. I’m relieved he’s here, but even from a few feet away I can see he’s got the weight of the world on his shoulders. I may have stayed on the phone to Lilly, but I still have no clue what the bad news was.
I’m in front of him just as he pulls his helmet off and the look in his eyes kills me. They’re dark and haunted.
“Dec?” I whisper. He doesn’t say anything. He just climbs off his bike before pulling me into a bone crushing hug. “It’s okay, it’s okay.” I hold onto him just as tightly as I try to calm my racing heart. He’s here, and he’s in one piece.
