Page 32 of Losing the Forbidden
“You haven’t done anything to deserve it.”
“Andhehas?”
He stumbles back when I push his shoulders, but Dec manages to catch him before he hits the pavement.
“Fuck you. FUCK YOU!” I bellow at no one in particular. Running my hands over my face, I rest them on my head and look up to the dark, cloud filled sky. It’s angry, like there could be a storm any moment.
I suck in a few breaths in the hope of calming my racing heart and raging temper.
When I finally get a hold of myself and turn to the others, they’re standing on the pavement, looking totally lost. Guilt engulfs me. They came here to try to cheer me up, and this is what I subject them to.
I’m a joke.
My life is a fucking joke.
“Come on. Let’s get you home,” Liv says softly, lacing her fingers with mine and pulling me towards a taxi idling at the curb.
Chapter Eleven
“How are you feeling? Your friends said you had a bit of an eventful night,” Mum says when I eventually drag my hungover arse into the kitchen sometime after lunch the next day.
“Like shit.”
“Sit down, I’ll get you a coffee. The others have gone into the city for the day. They didn’t want to disturb you.”
I watch as Mum faffs about. She looks better again today. I’m hoping that finding out the truth, although painful, has done her some good.
“Here. Chris is coming around in a little bit with Nick’s will. Lauren’s coming too.” Dread sits heavily in my stomach. I was such a dick to her in the club. Mum must be able to read my thoughts, because after regarding me for a few seconds, she asks, “What did you do?”
“I wasn’t very nice to her last night. She was at the club with Joe and—”
“Oh. I think you and Joe would get on, you know. You’re really quite similar.”
“Yeah, it seems we have similar tastes,” I mutter.
Mum bites down on her bottom lip and considers her next words carefully. “Not all that similar,” she says eventually. I don’t get a chance to question what she means, because the doorbell rings.
Mum gets up, stops at the mirror in the hallway to smooth down her hair, and answers the door.
Chris’ deep voice filters down to me along with Mum’s laughter. The sound warms my heart.
“Afternoon, Ben,” Chris calls as he enters the room, and I wince. “Good night?”
“Something like that,” I mutter, regretting the amount of whiskey I consumed before finally crashing out.
“We’re just waiting for Lauren and then we can get to it. What’s that look for?” Mum asks Chris when concern washes over his face.
“It’s just…not what I was expecting.”
Mum swallows before turning to make Chris a coffee. “Whatever it is, we can deal with it, Chris. He didn’t break us when he was alive, and he sure won’t do it when he’s dead.”
It’s the first time I’ve ever heard Mum say anything less than positive about her late husband. Maybe she was right with what she said the other day, and she was more aware of his ways than she let on.
Mum’s just put Chris’ coffee down when the sound of the front door slamming echoes through the house.
I hold my breath as her footsteps echo down the hallway. It all comes out in a rush when she finally appears in the doorway. She’s wearing a pair of skinny jeans and an oversized hoodie, her hair’s pulled back from her make-up free, tired face, but it’s her eyes that make my body ache to get up. Her usual light-blue is dark and rimmed with redness that only comes from hours of crying.
My fingers grip the bottom of the chair to keep me in place. She’s staring daggers at me. Getting up and giving her a hug is the last thing she wants right now.
