Page 6 of Losing the Forbidden
“It’s been six years. Six long fucking years sincehesent me away.
“Fuck, Ben.” I wince at her use of my real name, and she doesn’t miss it.
“I’ve had no contact with Mum or Lauren since that day. For all they know, I could be dead. I’ve no idea what’ll happen when I show my face.”
She nods as she thinks. “You know you don’t have a choice, right? Do you want me to go with you?”
“Thank you, but if I’m doing this, I should do it alone.”
Getting up, she walks over and throws her arms around my waist. Dropping my head, I press a kiss to her hair and allow her warmth to ground me.
“You’ve got this. Your mum needs you right now.”
“And what about Lauren?”
Liv blows out a breath. “If she loved you back then, then I’m sure she’ll love you even more now. Give yourself some credit—you’re a pretty good catch.”
A lump forms in my throat and I have to fight the tears that sting my eyes. “Is that right?” I love her positivity, but I have a feeling none of what’s to come is going to be that easy.
“Now, stop standing here wasting time with me. Go and get your girl.” After unwrapping her arms from me, she gives me a sweet, encouraging smile and pushes me in the direction of the stairs.
I know I should be packing something, but the second I’m in my room, I just stand there. After years of locking everything down, fear of going back floods me. I can’t deny there isn’t a little excitement mixed in though. I’m desperate to know if they’re both okay, to just see them again and take in how much—or how little—has changed over the years.
Instead of reaching for a bag, I pull open the drawer beside my bed and dig out my old phone. I took the SIM out the second I got on the train when I walked away that day. I believed every word of Nick’s threats, so I didn’t want to be traced. It’s why I left my car behind. I could never bring myself to get rid of the phone, though—not when it was full of photos of our short time together.
I’m amazed when it turns on. It’s been quite a while since I caved to my need to see her face. I get the usual warning about not being able to connect to a network before I pull up the photos. My heart aches the second I look into her blue eyes. She looks so young and carefree, exactly how she should at eighteen. She only had the slightest inkling of what was going on around her, how much her dad was controlling every single part of her life. I knew she wanted to live in that house almost as much as I did, but also like me, she didn’t have a choice. Only it was for a very different reason. I refused to move out because I needed to ensure Mum was safe. She didn’t have a choice because her dad was an abusive, controlling wanker.
Eventually, I get my arse in gear and I pack a duffle full of clothes. My entire body vibrates with nervous energy as I leave my room and make my way down the stairs. I’ve already had my life shattered once, but for some reason I feel like this is the beginning of me having to start over once again. Just this time, it could well be in the place I wanted to be the whole time.
“Call me if you need anything,” Liv calls from the front door just as I’m about to climb into my car.
“Thank you.” I really mean it. I’m not sure what I’d have done this last few days without her.
I hoped the journey would give me the time to figure out what I was going to do once I got to London, but as I sit in my car in the street where the Johnson & Son’s office is, I’m no closer to knowing.
I’ve no idea why Chris thought I should do this. I’ve no idea if I even know anyone who still works here. They might all think I’m some stranger trying to rob the place when I walk inside and start rummaging through Nick’s office.
Erica was probably my closest friend in the years before leaving, but if she’s still here, she’ll probably hate me just as much as Mum and Lauren for walking away like I did. I’d rather not be on the wrong end of her fiery temper.
Reading through the message Chris sent me earlier that lists everything he needs to get Nick’s estate in order, I blow out a steadying breath. I’m not stupid; he could have asked any one of the Johnson & Son’s employees to find this shit, but he knows me too well. He knew it would be the push I needed to get my arse up here.
It’s now or never.
Throwing the door open, I step out and get my first taste of fresh air since I left Devon hours ago.
As I walk towards the building’s entrance, it’s like I’m twenty again. I’m suddenly struck with the memory of the night I surprised Lauren when her dad demanded she work late.
I’d had plenty of indecent thoughts about bending her over her dad’s desk and fucking the life out of her, but fuck, the real thing was so much more than I ever could have imagined.
That desk should have been mine. It had my name etched into it from the day I was born, but that motherfucker appeared in my life and trampled over everything that was meant to be. If I didn’t know that my dad had died of natural causes, I’d truly believe he’d had something to do with it just so he could step into his life and fill his shoes. Not that he’d ever been able to. Dad was a shrewd businessman; he loved this company almost as much as he loved Mum and me. Nick, on the other hand, was nothing but an untrustworthy scumbag. I didn’t have the time to figure out what he was doing, but there were definitely dodgy dealings going on.
The hallways are empty and my footsteps echo as I walk along the tiled floor to the office entrance. I try to focus on what I need to do and push the lingering memories from my mind.
My plan is simple: go in, get what I need, and get out. I don’t want to cause any drama. Ideally, I’d like to not even be noticed, but I know that’s wishful thinking.
Standing in front of the office door, I clench and unclench my fists in an attempt to ease the tension in my body.
I push the door open, look ahead, and march into a space I know like the back of my hand. I basically grew up in this office. From as early as I can remember, I used to come to work with dad. I’d help him with his photocopying, shredding, and licking envelopes when I was a kid. I remember the hours I would spend listening to him and Mum talk about the goings on in the office and I’d soak it all up like a sponge, knowing that one day it was going to be mine. As the years went on, he showed me more and more, and by the time he died when I was fourteen, I already had a pretty good understanding of how the business worked. Knowing that in a few years I’d be able to keep his and my granddad’s legacy alive by taking over helped get me through losing both of them in quick succession.
