Page 7 of Losing the Forbidden
Thenheswooped in and saved the day.
Or so Mum thought.
She looked at him like he was her knight in shining armour. As far as she could see, he dragged her from the dark pit of grief and depression she’d fallen into, and he’d rescued the business that was on the verge of collapse when she couldn’t deal with it alone.
I saw through his façade. None of his actions were to help Mum or me; they were for his own benefit, his own gain. He was one selfish motherfucker.
I was just a kid. There wasn’t all that much I could do about the tornado that was my stepdad, but Nick wasn’t aware that the company basically ran through my veins. He didn’t know that I was watching his every move and noting every questionable decision he made from a distance. I had every intention of bringing him down.
I just didn’t get the chance.
As glad as I might be that he’s gone, a little disappointment that I didn’t get to expose his true colours makes my steps falter. I stumble on the threshold of the office and I immediately feel eyes on me.
When I look up, I find every member of staff staring in my direction with their chins dropped and their eyes so wide that some look on the verge of popping out…none more so than Erica.
Chapter Four
Erica’s eyes bore into mine and her features stiffen with anger. Her hurt at my sudden departure all those years ago is clear in her eyes. All my fears about what everyone must think of me come rushing to the forefront. It’s not until someone moves at the back of the office that I manage to rip my gaze away from her, but the moment I look over, I find the one person I wasn’t expecting. Staring back at me with furious, red-rimmed eyes is Lauren.
My breath catches and my heart twists painfully in my chest as I take in her exhausted face. Every part of me aches to move, to get close to her, to touch her, but even from here I can tell it’s the last thing she wants.
“Lauren,” I breathe, but there’s no way she hears my whisper with the distance between us.
I stand, frozen to the spot, as she drags her bag across the desk. All the paperwork flutters to the floor followed by a loud bang as something more significant falls victim to her hasty escape.
“Lauren,” I repeat, managing to find my voice this time.
“Don’t.” A tiny pair of hands slamming down on my chest makes me look down to the person in front of me. “Don’t. You. Fucking. Dare,” Erica seethes. She might only be small, but my chest stings by the time she’s finished. “You’ve already done enough damage. You don’t get to show up unannounced and throw her world into even more turmoil. She deserves more than that—more than you.”Erica’s lip curls in disgust. It’s my first taste of the kind of mess I left behind when I was forced to leave.
Every set of eyes in the office is still on us. As I glance at each of them, there are a couple I recognise but many that I don’t. I almost laugh when I see Betty standing with a mug of tea halfway to her lips. Of course she’s still here.
I just about manage a little smile in Betty’s direction before Erica’s fingers wrap around my wrist and I’m pulled towards the office. For such a small person, she’s got some serious strength. The door slams behind us and she turns her wrath back towards me.
“Erica,” I sigh. “I just came for some paperwork. I don’t need—”
“I don’t give a fuck what you need, Ben. What the fuck are you doing here? You’ve had what…six years to show your fucking face. Were you so scared of him that you had to wait until he was dead to come back?”
“Scared?” I can’t help but laugh. “You think I was scared of that motherfucker? Jesus, what bullshit did he spew to you lot?”
“The truth, by the looks of it.” Her hand lands on her hips and her eyebrows rise almost to her hairline as she waits for my response.
“I haven’t got time for this. I don’t owe you anything. There are only two women who need to know the truth, and one of them just stormed out.”
“Oh, well that’s fucking lovely. I was here, picking up the pieces of the mess you left behind you, and you think you don’t owe me anything. You’re almost as bad as he was.” She nods towards Nick’s desk and I see red. How fucking dare she compare me to him.
“Fuck you, Erica. You’ve no idea what happened that day. No idea of the threats he made, of the reason I did what I did.”
“Try me. We were friends—best friends, if you don’t remember. Hit me with it.”
“Not now. I just need—”
“Paperwork. You said.” Spinning on the spot to collect her thoughts, she pins me with another harsh look. “This is bullshit, Ben. You think you’re the only one with issues? You think you’re the only one with secrets no one else will understand? Well, you’re wrong. We might not know the whole truth about why you suddenly vanished in the middle of the night, but things haven’t been all sweetness and fucking light while you’ve been away. We haven’t all been sat around our fucking campfires singing Kumbay-fucking-a. And for your information, your mum and Lauren weren’t the only ones who n-needed y-you.” Her voice cracks and her lip trembles.
Guilt stronger than I’ve ever known engulfs me as I watch her body start to shake with emotion. Closing the distance between us, I realise for the first time that me leaving didn’t just affect two women, but potentially everyone around me. I don’t think I appreciated what I really had here.
I wrap my arms around her shoulders. She tries to fight to start with, but she soon gives up and allows me to comfort her.
Breathing in her familiar scent, I remember what a good friend she was to me. I’d cast her aside like she meant nothing.
