Page 12 of Fighting for the Forbidden
Chapter Four
Lauren
I endedup staying at Mum’s last night. By the time we’d analysed the situation with Ben from every angle possible, I’d had too much wine and it was too late to faff around getting a taxi when I could just stay in my old room.
I stayed in bed long after Mum got up and left for work. The rollercoaster of emotions over the last few days have left me exhausted, so I made the most of the peace and quiet, and of course the fact that I’m now unemployed.
I’ve had a job since the week I turned sixteen, so not having somewhere to go, something to do or anyone waiting on me is the weirdest feeling. Emailing Ben my resignation was a bit of a spur of the moment decision, but after what happened out in the car park, I just knew it wasn’t a good idea for us to spend time together. Was resigning from my job crazy? Maybe. But I couldn’t—I still can’t—see any other way. Seeing him after all this time is so hard. Seeing the longing in his eyes every time he so much as glances my way damn near rips my heart out.
I desperately want to believe the words I keep telling everyone, that we’re over, that I don’t care about him anymore. But they’re all lies. I always knew I’d never stopped loving him, but seeing him again made it so fucking obvious.
Feeling lost, I drive to a spa in the hope that treating myself might make me feel slightly better. I book myself in for a facial, back massage and mani-pedi. I might feel like I’m dying inside with everything that’s going on, so I guess I should at least try to look like I’m surviving on the outside.
Resting back in the relaxation room in my white fluffy robe after my first two treatments, I allow the soothing music and the soft scent of the candles to wash through me and try to push out all the stress.
It’s all going well until my phone starts vibrating in my pocket. Seeing Erica’s name, I pause before answering, knowing that she’s probably only ringing to bend my ear about leaving.
The call rings off, but no sooner has the screen gone dark than it lights up again. My curiosity gets the better of me and I swipe to answer.
“Lauren?” Erica asks in a rush before it’s even to my ear.
“Yeah, what’s up?”
“There’s been an accident.” My heart drops into my stomach hearing those words.
“Ben?”
“Ben and Joe. They’re on their way to Chelsea and Westminster Hospital.”
Jumping from the chair, I rush towards the changing room. My robe’s been discarded before I’ve got anywhere near my locker in my need to get to them. “I’m on my way.”
My entire body trembles in fear as I try to get myself dressed. It takes me longer than it usually would, and I get more and more frustrated at myself for my inability to keep a cool head right now.
I don’t know anything. They could be fine. They are fine, I repeat, trying to stay relaxed and focused on what I need to do.
The drive to the hospital is a total blur. I’ve no idea how I got here in one piece. For all I know, I jumped every red light and cut up every car I came in contact with.
It’s the longest twenty minutes of my life before I walk through to the accident and emergency waiting room.
“Lauren,” a female voice calls the second I step towards the reception desk, but everything’s a blur. I’ve no idea what happened or if they’re alive. My heart starts to race, and I fight to suck in breaths as the reality of the situation starts to hit me. “Lauren.”
Everything around me fades to black. Hands touch me, but I’ve no idea what they’re doing. The only thing I feel is sheer panic. My heart races and my chest heaves to drag in the oxygen it needs.
He has to be okay. This can’t really be it for us. He has to be okay.
“Lauren, it’s okay, sweetheart.” The sound of Jenny’s soothing voice eventually breaks through the haze. When I come back to myself, I realise that I’m sitting on one of the reception chairs with Jenny, the woman from reception, and a kind looking nurse all staring at me.
My heart is still racing, but I feel like I can actually breathe again.
“It’s okay, love. You just had a wee panic attack,” the nurse says like it’s nothing to worry about. “Call if you need anything.”
Nodding at her, I continue to focus on my breathing as she and the receptionist head back to work.
“What’s happened?”
“There was an accident on site. A lorry hit the scaffolding and Ben and Joe were at the top.”
“At the top?” I screech. “Are they…Are they...?” I can’t bring myself to say the words.
