Page 38 of Fighting for the Forbidden
“What’s wrong?”
“N-nothing,” I stutter. “Just thinking about that night.” It’s an excuse, and I think he knows it but I’m not ready to put all my fears out on the table quite yet. Today has been draining enough already.
“Are you done?”
“Yeah. Let’s get out of here. You need to rest.”
“Rest wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
“That’s a real shame, Ben, because that’s all you’re getting.” I can’t help but laugh as he sticks his bottom lip out in a childish pout. “One day at a time, remember?”
“If you say so,” he mutters, gently tucking me against his side as we make our way back to the hotel. I want to relax into it like he wants me too, but I’m not ready to put all my trust in him again. He’s going to have to fight for it.
The closer we get to the hotel, the slower he becomes, and it’s just the reminder we both need that the only thing that’s happening once we get inside the room is him sleeping. What started out as him holding me soon turns into me helping him along the corridor to our room.
“We’re almost there.”
“This is fucking ridiculous. I’ve hardly done anything all day.”
“You’re broken, Ben. It’s going to take some time.”
“Argh, fuck,” he groans, lifting his arms so I can pull his t-shirt from his body. “I haven’t got time. I’ve got things I want to do now.” Dropping his head to my neck, his lips tickle against my sensitive skin.
“Not happening,” I warn.
“Try saying that when you’re not undoing my trousers.” A laugh rumbles up his throat and the sound has butterflies erupting in my stomach.
“I meant what I said earlier. One day at a time. That means everything, Ben. I’m not ready to pick up where we left off like six years hasn’t passed. So much has changed. We’ve both changed. We need time to get to know each other again. We might be totally incompatible now.”
“You’re kidding, right?” As he gently lowers himself to the bed, my eyes lose their fight and run down the length of him. Dark tattoos cover his arms and chest. His stomach is more defined than I remember it being, and my mouth waters to discover the ridges more intimately. Running my eyes down over the elastic of his boxers, I find the evidence of what me undressing him really did to him.
“It’s been like that since you upped and left earlier. Fancy finishing the job?”
His eyes are dark and his jaw clenches with need. My mouth waters as the idea of giving him what he needs pops into my head, but it goes against everything I just told him I wanted.
When I glance back up, his eyes are half-closed, and it’s not with desire. It’s the reminder I need. Him in touching distance is too bloody tempting. It would be too easy to pretend that I’m a careless eighteen-year-old again. If we’re going to do this properly and have any chance of rekindling what we had, then I truly believe taking things slowly is the way forward. Pulling the sheets from the bottom of the bed, I cover his body.
“I’m going to go and change. I’ll be back in a few minutes. Shout if you need anything.”
“Lauren,” he calls, just before I disappear into the bathroom.
“Yeah?”
When I turn back, his eyes are closed, although the tension in his body means he’s anything but relaxed.
“I never stopped loving you. I need you to know that.”
“I know,” I whisper.
