Page 6 of Fighting for the Forbidden
“He left. I think he’s really gone this time, and it’s all m-my f-fault,” she sobs.
I bite back the response that’s on the tip of my tongue, because the guilt I feel for being responsible fills me.
“I can’t lose him again, Lauren. I can’t. He’s all I’ve got.” Her sobs get louder, and the words are out of my mouth before I’ve really considered the consequences.
“I’ll find him.”
Jenny might not be my mum, but living in her house for the past six years meant that we’d bonded and I’d do almost anything to ensure that she’s happy. It’s more than my dad did for her in the years they were together.
“You will?”
“I’ll do my best.”
Hanging up, I glance back into the bar at Danni and Joe, who are laughing away like they’ve not got a care in the world. It would probably make my life easier if I asked for their help, but I’ve got a pretty good idea what their opinion on all of this would be. They both agree that I need to stay as far away from Ben as I can. Most of the time I agree with them—well, my head does. But this isn’t about me. This is about Jenny. She’s already been through more pain and heartache than most people should have to deal with in their lifetime.
Squaring my shoulders, I look back one last time before walking away from the bar and going in search of a taxi. Once I’m settled, I send a quick text to Joe and Danni to explain my disappearance before putting my phone back in my bag and staring out the window.
When the taxi pulls into the car park, I’m convinced that his car is going to be parked in the far corner. It’s his favourite place; the place he comes when he needs some peace and to get away from the world.
But it’s empty.
Not knowing what my next move will be, I ask the driver to pull up and wait. I get out and the low evening sun immediately warms my skin. Walking to the edge of the gravel, I look out at the city beyond. So much has happened between us in this deserted car park. It makes me feel closer to him just by being here. I’ve no idea how he ever found this place, but I’ll forever be grateful that he introduced me to it. It took me a few months after he left before I was brave enough to come here, but once I did, I found it to be my safe haven.
No one was watching my every move while I was here. No one was judging while I was still fighting to get over him. I could allow myself to grieve for what I’d lost without worrying what everyone else thought.
I had no idea that I was completely in the dark as to what was going on around me back then. I truly believed that Ben had left of his own accord. Naïve? Maybe, but it was what I was led to believe and I didn’t really have any reason to question it. I knew the kind of man my dad was. I knew he liked to have everything and everyone under his control, but the little girl inside me who desperately craved for her daddy to be her hero wouldn’t allow me to see the severity of it. The evidence was all around me, but I chose to ignore the majority of the warning signs. I truly wanted to believe he had my best interests at heart.
Jenny was devastated that her only son had upped and vanished, and Dad seemed to play the part of the concerned husband and father so well that I never questioned his involvement after I first accused him. I was too broken and lost to question it. Then Joe walked into the office, and he helped put me back together.
As the sun descends, it reflects off something at the bottom of the hill. Squinting my eyes, my stomach jumps into my throat when I see what I assume is Ben’s car. I almost laughed when I first saw the bright orange Mitsubishi Warrior parked on Jenny’s drive. It’s not something I ever would have imagined him driving, but then I remembered it had been six years since I thought I knew him. A lot can change in that time.
Everything about this place starts to make sense.
I never noticed the graveyard below before, but it should have been obvious because I knew where his dad was buried. Ben comes here to be close to him. A giant lump forms in my throat at the thought.
Movement off to the side of the car drags my focus back, and I watch a man who can only be Ben walking towards his car. He stands with his hand on the handle, looking back over his shoulder at where he came from for a few seconds before climbing in.
My heart races. What do I do now? We’re too far away to follow him, to do something to try to stop him. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I hesitate for a second but I find his number and put it to my ear, casting aside my concerns and focusing on what Jenny needs.
It doesn’t even ring; the automated voice on the other end just tells me that the phone’s turned off. Not knowing what else to do, I stand and watch as his car pulls out of the car park. If Jenny’s right and he’s leaving, then he’ll head right out towards the motorway.
I wait for the indicator to flash, and when it does, I’m surprised to see the left one. After a second or two, he pulls away again and heads back into the city.
Blowing out a breath, knowing there’s not a lot else to do, I walk back to the taxi. Without thinking, my mum’s address falls from my lips when the driver asks me where I’d like to go.
Not feeling up to talking to Jenny, especially if she’s still crying, I opt to send her a text explaining that I think he’s still about. Hopefully, he’ll just head home and they can sort everything out before focusing on the business.
It’s dark by the time we get back into the city and pull up outside Mum’s building. She still lives in the flat we used to share before I was moved into the show home.
Not knowing I would end up here means that I don’t have any keys. I wince as I hit the buzzer, not knowing whether I’ll wake her or not. I probably should just go home, but I don’t want to be alone and I know that Joe will be out until the early hours.
“Hello?” Mum asks groggily.
“Mum, it’s me. Can I come up?” My voice cracks at the end, and I have to fight the entire way up to Mum’s flat not to break down.
The second my foot hits the top step and I see her waiting at her front door, I run towards her. She immediately engulfs me in her arms and pulls me inside. The stress, exhaustion and confusion all pour out of me as she walks us towards her living room.
I haven’t seen Mum since the funeral.
