Page 68 of The Deception You Weave
"Baby?" I finish for him.
"Yeah. Fuck.” He throws his now empty plate at the end of the bed and scrubs his hand down his face. "I can't get my head around the fact you were pregnant with my kid. It sounds so surreal."
"Trust me, it was all very real."
"Oh no, I didn't mean—"
"It's okay."
"No, it's not." He twists so all his attention is focused on me. My skin heats as he looks over every inch of me.
"O-okay. I found out for sure about four weeks after the party. I knew I'd missed my period but I just thought—hoped it was stress or something. I've never been all that regular, so it wasn't unheard of. But as time went on, I just knew that I was putting off the inevitable.
"Up until that point, staring down at the small window that held my fate was the scariest thing I'd experienced. If only I knew what the future was going to hold, I might not have been so terrified."
"I hate that you couldn't tell me." The dejection in his voice threatens to slice me open but I know he understands.
"Me too. As time went on, I was so lonely. I can't tell you how many times I sat there with my cell in my hand and your contact staring back at me.
"I just knew you wouldn't accept it."
"I hate that you're probably right there too."
"It is what it is, Kane. There's no point beating yourself up about it now. It wouldn't have changed the outcome."
"But I could have been there."
I shrug. We both know that the chances are that he wouldn't have been. He wouldn't have accepted it.
"So what happened? Why did—"
"I don't know. They never found a reason. He just…"
"He?"
"Yeah. They told me after I delivered him."
"You had to… fuck, Scarlett."
13
Kane
Listening to her talk about having to deliver our never-to-be baby is the most heart-wrenching thing I've ever experienced. I've seen and done a lot of things that should have affected me over the years. But it all pales in comparison to hearing her talk so honestly about what she went through.
It sounds horrific and knowing that she went through the entire thing alone.
Fuck.
My fists clench in frustration. I want to help, I want to take the pain away, turn back time and be right beside her, holding her hand and wiping away her tears.
But I can't. The damage has been done, although I know the pain is going to stay with her forever.
"I wish you'd have told someone," I whisper after a few moments of silence after she bravely recalled the events which followed her scan.
"It doesn't matter now. Mom knows, I finally cracked and left New York. I was in a bad place. I had been for months and I just couldn't take it any longer.
"I thought she was going to hate me for dropping out and ruining the best opportunity of my life, but she didn't. She just listened to me as I told her everything, held me, and told me everything was going to be okay, and most importantly, she got me some help.
