Page 82 of The Vengeance You Crave
"Yeah. I mean, I've got you, obviously. But I've never had a friend, or anything really like you did with Peyton. I was so fucking jealous."
I stare at him, floored that he's just admitted that.
"Shit."
He shrugs. "Do you really want to let that go now that she's back?"
"We're not the same people anymore."
"No one would expect you to be. Five years have passed. A lot of shit has happened. But that's not the point really, is it? Do you still want her despite whatever bullshit went down that you both still refuse to confess to?"
"I never stopped wanting her. That's not the issue. I don't know if I can trust her."
"Have you even talked about… about whatever it was?"
"No."
"Maybe you should start there instead of just punishing her for something you might not fully understand."
I look at him, stare into his green eyes that are so familiar to the ones I look into every day in the mirror.
"When did you get to be so wise?"
He shakes his head and chuckles. "I always have been, bro. You just haven’t noticed before now."
"Oh fuck off." I laugh, and despite the fact it makes my head pound with pain, I can't deny that it doesn't feel good.
"And what about the rest of it? Have you had it out with Letty yet?"
"Kind of. We spoke for a bit last week."
"A bit?"
"It was more than we have in weeks."
"It's not enough, Luc. If you wanna fix this shit, you need to sort stuff out. You need to hear Letty out, listen to what really happened with Kane. It might even help you understand how you're feeling about Peyton."
"What do you know that I don't?"
"It's not my place to discuss their relationship with you. But there are bigger things than you know about when it comes to Kane and Letty. She's happy, Luc. Really fucking happy. I know we hurt you. I know Kane hates you. But it's how it is. You need to be able to accept him in her life, and in yours."
I scoff, still not happy about that unexpected turn of events at the beginning of the season.
"Which leads me to the biggest issue here. Football."
"What about it?" I spit, although I already know where this is going and quite honestly, I don't have an answer for him.
"What you said to Dad yesterday, did you really mean it?"
"I don't know. And this isn't some overly dramatic sulk because we lost, this isn't new. I've been feeling like this for a while. I'm just tired, Lee. I'm tired of the pressure, the bullshit, the expectations."
"From who?"
"Him. I fucking hate him, Lee," I confess.
"I know and I get it." I turn to look at him, ready to rip him a new one because he doesn't know, he doesn't get even half the shit I do. "Oh no, don't even think about it," he snaps before I manage to say anything. "Don't pull the 'you don't understand it's different for you card.' I fucking know it's different because I've been forced to watch it for years, Luc. I know exactly what kind of pressure he puts on you, exactly what he expects of you because while I might not be the one going through it, I'm here on the sidelines watching and feeling your pain right alongside you."
I open my mouth to argue but I have no words.
