Page 11 of The Destruction You Desire
Whatever Ella gave me added to the champagne and vodka I've consumed today ensures that my reality stays away as I lose myself to the music.
A guy who I'm introduced to as Letty's little brother and a couple of the other guys I recognize from the toga party supply us with drinks and with each one, I let go a little more. So much so that when some guy I don't know steps up behind me and begins dancing with me, I just go with the flow.
I don't care who he is. I don't want to think about anything. I just want to let go.
Resting my head back against his shoulder and moving my ass against him. His hand grips my waist, their burning heat turning my blood to lava.
I have no idea how much time or how many songs pass like that. It could be one or ten. I lose all sense of time and anything around me as I get lost to the music.
But the second he spins me around and I recognize a pair of green eyes, everything comes crashing down around me until my alcohol-fueled brain catches up with my reality. My body stills, my blood instantly cooling and my high from only seconds ago vanishing faster than I thought possible.
"Lee? What are you—?"
"Disappointed?" he asks, clearly reading my reaction.
"N-no, I just didn't… shit."
I drop my head to his shoulder, suddenly feeling like I've got the weight of the world on my shoulders once more.
4
Luca
Istand in the driveway to the house where tonight's party is. It's only a short walk from our house on the next street over.
I told myself I wasn't going to show my face. Today has been the biggest shit show I've ever experienced.
My head spins with the vodka racing through my system and the house before me appears to move despite the fact I know it's not.
I can't even think about what happened this afternoon. If I picture his face, if I think about her confession, then I know I'm going to drown and never surface again.
I spent five years convincing myself that she was wrong. That my dad hadn't slept with my best friend's sister.
But it's not even just that. He got her fucking pregnant.
Lifting the bottle to my lips, I try to force myself to walk back home, to stay away from her, to stay away from everyone. But a photo I saw on Instagram only thirty minutes ago calls to me.
I have no idea if Letty did it on purpose. If she knew I'd be sitting at home stalking them all on social media to try to get a glimpse of her. Part of me thought she'd bail on tonight. But it seems what happened today hasn't affected her in the same way it has me because I know she's inside there right now, having the time of her life.
I guess she has every right. It's her twenty-first birthday, after all.
Pulling my cell out once more, I stare at the image as my confusion continues to war inside me.
I want her.
I need her.
I hate her.
My grip tightens until I worry I'm about to shatter the screen as I look at her smile at whoever is taking the photo. Letty? A guy?
My heart pounds as I think about her hooking up with someone else tonight, about someone else touching what's mine.
With another swig of vodka, I shove my cell back into my pocket and make my way inside.
A few people try to stop me as I walk through the house but most can sense the tension radiating from me and give me a wide berth. I don't blame them. I don't even want to talk to myself right now.
I scan the house for her pink hair, for Letty's bronze skin. Hell, even for Kane's smug fucking face. Anything that will help me find her.
