Page 35 of The Destruction You Desire
"Holy shit." She stares at me, her eyes glassy with tears, her pain tangible.
"I couldn’t cope. Bailed on classes, lost myself. I was a mess."
"That's why you came back," I breathe.
"Yep. It got to the point where I was either going to do something I wasn't going to come back from, or I pull up my big girl panties and confess the truth. I came home, Mom found me someone to talk to and I worked through it all and restarted my life."
I scrub my hand down my face. "Fucking hell, Letty."
"Kane didn’t know. I had no idea he'd be here. He already hated me and blamed me for Riley's death. Then when I told him about our baby… well, he drove his car into a truck."
"Shit."
"Look, Luc. I'm not telling you this for sympathy. I've dealt with it all now… mostly. What I'm trying to say is that things aren't always as they seem, and just because you think one thing, it doesn't mean you can't overcome it, change. Love isn't always easy, or pretty. It can be hard, painful, messy… dirty. But let me tell you, when you figure it out, it's so fucking worth it."
"What are you really trying to say, Let?" I ask with a heavy heart.
"Peyton is… she's not a liar, Luc. I don't know the details but I truly believe that she loves you and that she never wanted to hurt you."
"I know," I confess, much to her shock.
"Y-you do?"
"Yeah, I was wrong. She never lied to me. I just didn't want to believe it. What she told me… I had no idea how to handle it, so I picked the easiest choice and turned on her."
"O-okay. So, now what?"
"It's not as simple as me being wrong. She might not have lied to me that day when we were kids, but she's kept some huge shit from me."
"Shit she'd have kept from you if you'd have believed her back then?"
"Well… no, but—"
"There you go then. You can't blame her for protecting herself."
"Shit," I breathe, falling back against that wall and letting my head slam against it.
"Nothing is unforgivable, Luc. You just need to pull your head out of your ass and decide what you really want."
I keep my eyes closed but I feel Letty's stare burning into my face.
"Despite all the bullshit and whatever might have happened in the past. What do you want?"
"Her." That single word falls from my lips before I've even had time to think about it.
"So start making it right. Quit with all this drunken, angry bullshit. Stop with all the fighting, the pity parties for one. She needs you, Luc. She needs you to be on her side, in her corner. I don't know the details, I know she's lost her mom and she's still grieving. I also know that's only the tip of the iceberg.
"You want her, you need to prove it. You need to be what she needs, what she doesn't even realize she needs."
Dragging my head from the wall, I rip my eyes open and stare at Letty.
"I'm sorry I never told you about her."
Getting up, she moves closer to me and threads her fingers through mine.
"I understand, Luc. I know things have been fucked up, for both of us. But I'm here. I'll always be here for you."
Wrapping my arm around her shoulder, I drop my lips to the top of her head as emotion clogs my throat.
