Page 45 of The Destruction You Desire
"The verdict is still out on that."
"Leon wouldn't have stopped you biting your nails," I point out, ignoring the wave of jealousy that surges through me as I think about him trying to convince Peyton to let him escort her to Atlanta.
I have no idea what the fuck he's thinking but when I get back, we need to have it out. All this shit needs to stop.
Her lips part to argue but we both know that he wouldn't have. He wouldn't have known.
"I never forgot anything about you, about us. I need you to know that, P. You might have left town. I might have been furious. But you've always been under my skin."
"You clearly forgot me while you were getting busy with all the jersey chasers."
I stare at her, unable to stop the smirk that twitches at my lips.
"You been stalking me, baby?"
"N-no, I—" She blows out a frustrated breath. "Okay, fine. I might have looked at your Insta every now and then."
I stare at her, lifting my brows for her to tell the truth.
"Fine. Daily. Okay?"
"And here I was thinking I was the stalker."
She stares at the back of the chair in front of her. "I just wanted to know if you achieved your dreams, Luc. No matter what happened between us, I still wanted that for you. I still do."
"Well, that makes one of us."
"You're not really going to quit? Not because of him?"
I shrug. "It's not just because of him. Things over the past few months have been…" I trail off. "I don't even know."
"You're not a quitter, Luc."
"I gave up on you, didn't I?"
Her lips part but she soon closes them again.
"Exactly. That person you remember, I don't think he exists anymore, P. The expectations, the pressure, the constant bullshit, it's tainted me. Hardened me. I mean, look at us. Look what I've done, the things I've said. I'm no better than him with the way I've treated you." My regret for how I've handled everything since she reappeared in my life threatens to swallow me whole.
"You think I'm the same person? Jesus, Luc. You aren't the only one who's had it hard."
"Shit, I know. I didn't mean… fuck."
"I know, I'm sorry. How long until we land?" she asks, looking out the window.
"About forty minutes."
"Okay."
Resting her head back, she closes her eyes and wraps her free arm around herself. I wait for her to pull her hand from mine but she never does. Knowing that she needs the connection, needs my strength gives me hope that we might be able to salvage something out of all of this.
I rest back, keeping her hand clamped tightly in mine.
I meant what I said to her about being whatever she needs. I've got a lot to make up for, and I figure that right now isn't a bad place to start.
She's still asleep when we start to descend, and as much as I hate to wake her knowing what she's going to have to face next, I know I need to.
"Peyton," I say softly, taking in her pale face and the dark circles around her eyes.
