Page 70 of The Destruction You Desire
"All you can do is be there for her, Peyton. The rest is up to her."
I nod, although she can't see me. "I know. I just want to fix her, you know. I want my sister back."
"I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through right now," she says quietly.
"I just needed to talk to someone impartial. Thank you for answering."
"Of course. I hoped you might call."
I can almost hear the words she wants to say but holds back in the silence that follows.
"I know you've spoken to him."
"I know things are up in the air with your sister and everything, but where's your head at with him, Peyton."
"My head?" I laugh. "My head is telling me to run as far away from him as possible because it knows the kind of pain he's capable of causing."
"Smart," she deadpans.
"But it's not my head that's the issue," I admit.
"I figured as much."
"Last night, I—" I slam my lips shut, not really wanting to confess to what I did.
"I know."
"Shit," I hiss. "It was a mistake."
"Was it?"
"Y-yeah. It changed things. The way he keeps looking at me. He's got this hope in his eyes and it shreds me every time I see it because I can't give him what he wants, I'm not what he wants."
"You sure about that?"
"Jeez. I called you thinking you'd talk some sense into me."
"Peyton," she says with a laugh. "If you knew the whole story behind me and Kane and our history then trust me when I say that you'd never come to me for relationship advice. A lot of people would probably say that I did everything I shouldn't have, that I never should have forgiven him. But it's about more than just that. We both made mistakes. We both did things we're not proud of. But ultimately, life just makes more sense when we're together. Everything is easier when we're together.
"Things that might look bad to the outside world, sometimes are exactly what you need in your heart."
"But my head—"
"Your head and heart will come together at some point. You just have to trust it when it happens."
"And what if my head wins?"
"Then you walk away knowing that you're doing the right thing."
Just her saying the words literally feels like she's reaching inside my chest and pulling my heart out.
"And—"
"Trust yourself, Peyton. All this crazy shit with your sister, that needs to be your focus right now. Luca will still be there when it's all over. Something tells me it's gonna take quite a lot to get rid of him now anyway. It will all work out."
"I wish I had your positivity."
"One day you will. What he did, turning his back on you and all the crap since you came back. It was brutal. But maybe the time apart, the eruption when you collided again was exactly what you both needed."
