Page 35 of The Retaliation You Deliver
What Peyton and Luca share, even with their time apart, is something most people can only dream of.
Even as kids, it was clear to see that they were destined to be together.
It was always me and Luca. He might be my twin and we might have kinda been stuck with each other but he’s always been my best friend, and equally, I’ve always been jealous of his relationship with Peyton.
The three of us were pretty tight until… until Richard happened. Then I backed away.
I know the cracks in mine and Luca’s relationship are my fault. I know I pushed him closer to Peyton because of my inability to deal with what happened, but still, I sat on the sidelines and watched them fall in love knowing that unless I found a way to deal with my shit, then I was never going to have that for myself.
I drop to the ground, pulling my knees up and wrapping my arms around my legs as I stare out at the ocean. The sun is busy making it’s final descent for the day, casting the water in a bright orange hue.
I sit there for the longest time, reminiscing on how different life could have been if Richard Fletcher was never a part of my life. Hell, if my own father accepted what I told him and helped me instead of brushing it under the rug in favor of helping his friend.
If just one thing happened differently, then maybe I wouldn’t be here now with two men’s lives hanging in the balance.
If only I would’ve told Mom instead. Coach maybe. Anyone other than him. Maybe it would have been dealt with years ago. Maybe Mom would have grown some balls and left that prick sooner, maybe Peyton and Luca never would have been hurt the way there were.
Maybe. Maybe. Maybe…
I blow out a long breath and all the possibilities flutter around in my head.
All of this is my fault. If I weren’t so fucking scared then I might just have saved everyone a lot of pain and heartache.
Could I have saved Macie though?
I shake my head, not wanting to have her factor in all of this, but I can’t help it.
Somehow in only a matter of days, she managed to achieve something that no one else ever has. Letty’s got close over the years, but both of us have always known that we were always destined to be friends. But Macie managed to get herself under my skin almost from that very first moment I looked into her eyes.
I thought it was because I had been searching for her for so long. But after the two weeks we spent together and how empty I feel now after only two days without her, I’m really starting to wonder.
My fists clench as I allow myself to admit for the first time just how badly I need her, how much easier she’d make all of this right now.
“FUUUUCK,” I shout into the silence around me.
This wasn’t how it was meant to go. I wasn’t meant to… want her.
I’m meant to hate her.
I do hate her.
But also I… Fuck, I need her.
Agonising minutes pass as I sit there convincing myself that going to her dorm is a really fucking bad idea until my cell pings in my pocket.
Colt: Hot redhead at basketball party. Get your ass here.
In the past, that kind of a message would get him the result he’s after. But the thought of being with any readhead that isn’t her is suddenly less than appealing. Although, admittedly, it’s probably what I need. Some nameless, faceless woman to take it all out on. From behind, she could be Macie.
My cock stirs at the thought of taking her from behind, of her full ass, the smooth, pale skin of her back and her thick red hair wrapped around my fist as I fuck her until I lose some of this fucking tension.
Leon: She’s all yours tonight, man.
I let out a sigh knowing that I made the right decision, even if my body isn’t onboard.
Colt: Not tonight. I’ve got my eyes on a spitfire.
Leon: Leave Ella alone.
