Page 11 of Friendshipped
“No! You didn’t!”
Jayme covers her face with her hands and shakes her head. I can’t help but laugh now. I surely wasn’t laughing then.
“And, I didn’t stop screaming. I stood there frozen with a face that probably looked similar to the one I made when my sister, Felicia, tried to make me eat a June bug. A noise worthy of a horror movie kept coming out of my mouth. You know when your car alarm goes off and you can’t find the button on the key? That was me with my scream. I couldn’t find my off button. I finally clamped my hand over my mouth.”
“No!” Jayme says again, reliving the horror with me.
I shrug my shoulders and draw my mouth into a thin line.
“Instead of feeling Trevor’s lips meet mine, I heard the clatter of the kitchen door as he ducked out to safety—away from me and my dreadful impersonation of an Edvard Munch painting. When I dared to open my eyes, I saw his retreating form walking back out toward the pool.”
I remember standing there in shock and humiliated silence. Mrs. Lennox kept asking me if I was okay. I finally answered her, saying I thought I saw a cockroach, but I was wrong and, no, she didn’t need to call an exterminator.
I apologized for scaring her, filled the bowl with chips, and told her the kids out back were waiting for the snack. When she left to bring the bowl to them, I made a dash for the front door, hopped on my bike and pedaled home like Lance Armstrong on the last leg of the Tour de France.
I look up at Jayme, realizing I stopped telling her the story out loud.
“Anyway, I gave Laura’s mom the chips and rode my bike home. Laura and Shannon each called later to check on me. I didn’t have it in me to tell them the truth—especially because it would embarrass both me and Trevor. I told them I wasn’t feeling well after being in the sun too long.”
“What happened between you and Trevor after that?”
“Trevor and I avoided one another for about five days. Then his family had mine over after church that Sunday and we all played bocce ball in their front lawn. Trevor acted normal except for a few stolen glances at me when he thought I wasn’t looking. I could tell he was reliving the fiasco in Laura’s kitchen and wondering what had been going through my mind.
“At one point I walked over to him to apologize and explain myself, although I really didn’t know what caused such an unexpected knee-jerk reaction.
“Before I could say anything, Trevor held up his hand and asked me to drop it and never bring it up again. He kept saying things like, ‘It’s over, Lex. It was dumb. Just drop it please. I never should have done that.’ The pleading look in his eyes said everything. He regretted the moment we almost had.
“I think he wanted the earth to split open and suck him into an abyss to save him from his mortification. If we could order two one-way abyss tickets, I was right there with him.”
“But he wanted to kiss you, and you wanted it too. That means there’s more than friendship between you, even now.”
“No,” I say, softly. “There’s more to our story, but I can assure you the two times Trevor and I have tried to cross the firm line of friendship it has ended in sheer disaster and an almost loss of what we have with one another.
“And that was a long time ago. We’ve moved past it all and we salvaged our friendship. He’s my best friend and I’m so lucky to have him. What we have is good.”
Jayme nods, but I can tell she’s not convinced. I understand. Sometimes I roll options through my mind trying to see what it would be like to test fate and try to push for more. I always end up back at the same dead end. We’re friends. It’s all Trevor wants with me. The attraction he felt was a stage he went through and we’re well past it.
Proof of him moving past our almost-kiss came two weeks later, when Trevor had his actual first kiss.
I know. I was there.
One morning during the first weeks of our freshman year, Trevor and Meg were standing under a tree in front of Bordeaux High. She had her hand on his arm. I had been walking toward him until I noticed how intimate they looked. Before I knew what was happening, Meg leaned in and gave Trevor a kiss.
He didn’t scream, in case you were wondering.
He actually kissed her back. And I stood frozen in place, watching them until I couldn’t take it anymore. I walked up the front steps and went to my classes as if I hadn’t witnessed my best friend kiss the new girl that morning.
Somewhere in the middle of earth science class, I determined I needed to look at my infatuation with Trevor like the chicken pox. I had them, they were uncomfortable for weeks, but in the end, I got immunity. In time I would be immune to Trevor, and my feelings for him would go back to the innocent ones I always had—ones without so much complication and potential rejection in the mix.
I look over at Jayme, realizing my mind drifted yet again. She’s patiently looking at me with a softness in her features. Her eyebrows are slightly pulled in and her lips are tucked tightly into her mouth like she’s physically holding back what she wants to say.
“Besides,” I add. “We could never pair up. Our couple name would be Lexevor, which sounds like an evil alien enemy in a Marvel movie. Or Trexi, which sounds like an exotic dancer.”
Jayme laughs. “Well, that seals it for sure.” Then she asks, “So, when he starts dating again, you’ll be fine?”
She’s probably harping back to my slumps. I went into one every time Trevor and Meg reunited. Jayme was living in Bordeaux by that time. And yes, no one can send me into a slump like Meg Abrams.
But Meg moved away for college and she’s living somewhere in Pennsylvania now, so I’m safe from the slump. I’m the unslumpiest, slump-free friend you ever met.
