Page 118 of Townshipped
“You don’t know Aiden. He’s got a big alpha streak. He’s not waiting for anyone to make the first move.”
“That’s pure, delightful scrumptiousness. You know how I love an alpha streak in a man. And those abs. Chica, I’m telling you. The way he looked at you … He may be all that, but I’m thinking he wanted to give you space to come home and figure out your own mind. The first move is yours.”
“You could be right.” I look over at Gabriela. “I won’t deny we had chemistry. But what if I text him, or call, and he treats me with kid gloves because he’s trying to spare my feelings?”
It would be just like Aiden to put his own desires on the back burner if he thought giving me space was best for me.
And it would also be like him to humor me if he thought I had a misplaced crush. He wouldn’t want to hurt me after all I’ve been through. He’d let me down slowly, just like it seems he has done. And he’d be feeling all sorts of guilt for having taken advantage of me or led me on.
I know Aiden. I only wish I knew what he was thinking and feeling right now. And I wish I could just come out and ask him without making him feel cornered into melting reality into something more palpable for my sake.
“You won’t find any answers as to how he feels if you keep on living here and never reach out.”
“True,” I concede.
“So, you’ll make a move?”
“I’ll think about it.”
I don’t tell Gabriela how many times I stare at my phone daily, considering texting my thoughts and feelings to Aiden and then talking myself out of it. I also don’t share how I’ve cried myself to sleep almost every night since I’ve been back.
I should have known my noncommittal response wouldn’t be enough for Gabriela. She wouldn’t be Gabriela if she didn’t push and prod and cajole her way through life.
She looks at me with her trademark determination and says, “Okay. Here’s the game plan.”
I chuckle. Gabriela’s game plans are something she takes exceedingly seriously and they usually involve everyone doing at least one thing they would rather not do. As in, I’d rather sit in the desert playing five-card stud in a dust storm with a band of nomadic cannibals than do whatever she cooks up in her game plans.
“Lay it on me,” I deadpan.
“Have a little faith,” she says.
Gabriela dramatically extends her pointer finger in the air in front of her and says, “Step one. You call that alpha farmer with the abs that won’t quit and you tell him you miss him. Or some version of missing him that lets him know you haven’t forgotten your kiss—or him.”
She winks and looks completely swoony over the idea of Aiden, his kiss, or me calling him. I’m not sure which, probably all three. I told her we kissed. I never went into details—those moments between us seem so private and almost like I imagined them now—even too personal to share with a woman who knows everything about me.
I wait for step two in Gabriela’s plan. She doesn’t say anything else.
“What’s step two?” I ask.
“That’s it. It’s a one-step plan. Sometimes I keep the plan simple, you know?” She adds a flourish of her hands, swirling them over her head before dropping them to her lap. “This plan, it’s a one and done.”
Natalia comes to the door. “Mija, I need you inside. You promised to help me make empanadillas for dinner.”
“Ay, Mama! I’ll be there. Give me a minute with my bestie.”
“You can stay and help us, Mallory,” Natalia says to me. “Like old times. Whatever you decide is fine with me. You’re familismo.”
Gabriela smiles big at that term. It’s one that means I’m part of the real heart of the family, just as if I had been born into their clan, not pseudo-adopted over the years.
Natalia spears Gabriela with one of her famous looks. “You, mija, don’t have a choice. Come clean up to help cook.”
Natalia turns to head back into the house.
“I better go help Mama. Message me as soon as you talk to your man.”
“Not my man.”
“If not yours, then whose? And believe me, someone will snatch his scrumptious self up eventually. But it needs to be you, mija. I feel it in my bones. And my bones never lie.”
