Page 65 of Townshipped
“They’re with Mark and Deb. But they are the reason I called you right away. Vanessa had a will.”
“I know,” I tell Mom, looking down at Em.
This is going to change everything.
“You know?”
“Yeah. Last time Van got sober, she told me she was putting her affairs in order. She never knew if her sobriety would stick. In her right mind she wanted the kids provided for. She knew Aunt Deb’s health wasn’t stable enough for her to be a guardian for two small children. Van said the way she figured it, Karina already has a family, and Trevor was proposing to Lexi at the time. That left me. She asked me.”
I look down at Em. Her face is the picture of compassion. This woman. She’s not even flinching or pulling back. She’s right here with me—here for me.
“Well, that’s a surprise,” Mom says.
“I’ve been preparing—just in case—ever since we found out Van was hospitalized.”
“You don’t have to take them on, son.”
“I know that. But I will. I made a promise to Van.”
“They’re having a funeral this weekend. I’ll call later with the details. I need to call your brother. I already told Karina.”
“Are you okay, Mom?”
“Yeah. I’m just so grateful the three of you turned out the way you did. I don’t know how Mark and Deb are going to make it through this.”
“I know. They will though. In time.”
“Okay. Well. I love you, sweetie.”
“Love you too, Mom.”
I end the call. Em doesn’t let go of me. She heard everything my mom and I said to one another. I wrap both arms around her, acutely aware I can’t ask more of her for so many reasons. Even what passed between us when I got home crossed lines I promised I wouldn’t until we have more information. It’s so easy to forget she has a life, and that life may include other people—even another man.
I push her away. I need to wear gloves and maybe a mask and one of those bubble suits if necessary. I can’t draw her near to me. I can’t indulge in her comfort, or the way she makes my heart beat out of my chest. I’ll be here for her, but I can’t pretend she’s mine.
The look on her face cracks my heart.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“It’s okay. It’s a lot to take in.”
“It is. Though I knew tragedy was coming. Or I thought it might one day. If a person stands on the edge of a cliff long enough, it only takes one strong gust to blow them over the precipice. Van lived on a ledge, daring the outcomes of her life choices to blow her over. If it weren’t this, it would have been something.”
I clear my throat. Despite the truth of my words, the severity of my cousin’s death rushes at me and punches me hard. She’s gone. I’m taking on two children. There’s no reversing those realities.
“You have custody of your niece and nephew?”
I nod. It’s not really a question. More of a confirmation on her part.
“Tell me how I can help,” she says, always here in ways that make me miss her before she’s even gone.
“I will,” I agree.
I won’t. She can’t be a part of this stage of things. I’m not about to kick her out. That would be cruel. But I can’t lean on her. It won’t do anyone any favors to make her an integral part of the life I have to build for Ty and Paisley only to have her leave them—and me.
I run my hand across the back of my neck.
“Why don’t you lie down,” Em says in a soft voice. “Or take a walk. Feed the goats and Lily. Do something to ease your mind while you process all this. I’ll get dinner going.”
