Page 74 of Doctorshipped
Eventually the night winds down and everyone leaves Shannon’s room but me. She asked me to stay behind, so I did.
Shannon’s dressed for bed, and I’m in sweats, leaning on the door jamb to the bathroom while she moisturizes her face.
She sets down the tube of cream and walks over to me, putting her hands on my biceps. “Promise me something?”
“Sure.”
Shannon looks me square in the eyes.
“Promise me you won’t stay committed to being single just to prove a point.”
That was not what I expected her to say.
“I’m not proving a point.”
Shannon raises one eyebrow.
“Maybe I have been at times. But, I’m not.”
Shannon drops her arms. “What is it then? I mean, I’ve always known you planned to stay single. I took it for granted. But I guess I never thought to ask why.”
“Is this really what you want to be talking about the night before you marry Duke?”
“We aren’t going to be living together after tonight. And I’ll be honest. I’m a little worried about you. I know you’ll be fine. You’re my hero. And we’ll still see one another all the time. But once I get married, you’ll be the last woman standing.”
“There’s still Ella Mae, Meg, and Cherry.”
Shannon rolls her eyes.
“Okay. I amend that. You’re the last sane woman standing—the last single woman in our friend group. Does it bug you?”
I take a breath. With the bitter taste of my recent lie to my parents still on my tongue, I don’t want to hide the truth from Shannon.
“I can’t believe you’re making me talk about this on a night when you should be surrounded by bliss and pink fluffy clouds with angels singing the sweetness of your love for Duke.”
“I’ve got all that. Don’t worry. Nothing could rob me of my happiness right now. Duke’s everything I ever wanted and we’re finally getting married. This bliss bubble couldn’t be popped by a thousand pins right now. I just want to know you’re okay.”
“Okay. I’ll give you a peek inside my mind, but only because you are pushy and I know you aren’t going to give up until I do.” I huff out a breath.
“I push because I love you.”
“I know. So, you want to know if my singleness in the midst of all this marital bliss bugs me.”
Shannon flicks off the light in the bathroom and makes her way to the bed. I follow her.
“Yeah. To be honest, my singleness has bugged me a little lately. It never did. I always really felt confident choosing not to get involved with anyone. But, lately, with each of you dropping like flies, I feel more alone sometimes. I’m not alone. I know that. And I’m still committed to my decision, but I’m working through some things.”
“Like not having a roommate.”
I look over at her. A softness has transformed her face tonight. I can’t help but smile when I think of her and Duke making a life together.
“Yeah,” I admit. “Of course the lack of roommate situation matters to me. I mean, you and I had our little life together and I loved it. Don’t get me wrong. I want you and Duke to get married and build an amazing future together. Don’t ever think I don’t. But it’s a loss for me. And I’m free-falling for a minute. I’ll find my bearings. Please don’t worry about me.”
“I know you will. I just don’t want you to commit to being single without leaving room for love if it surprises you from out of nowhere.”
I take a deep breath. May as well lay everything on the line. “I have given this a whole lot of thought lately. I just don’t think my heart is made for one more break. I know I only had one serious boyfriend. So, my stance is a little ridiculous considering my lack of experience. And I’m not even sure I loved Shane. I probably didn’t. But, when he cheated on me, it impacted me more deeply than I expected. Over time I realized I’d rather stick with friends. I don’t think I’m the type of woman suited for relationships with men. Besides, I love my life. It’s not like I need a man. Marriage isn’t glamorous. It’s actually hard. Worse than it being hard? It can end up an endless stream of monotony. I don’t want to sign up for that.”
I look over at her, realizing I just painted the most gloomy picture of marriage the night before her wedding.
