Page 113 of Ripped & Shipped
“She knows it happened on duty.”
He nods. “Does she know you think it’s your fault?”
I shake my head. Discomfort seeps through me, but it’s not as much of a gut punch as it has been in the past.
Alex’s lips draw into a thin line and he stares at me like he’s looking into my soul. “Gotta let that go, Cap.”
“I know.”
I haven’t gotten over what happened yet, but I feel something shifting. I think back to the night Ella Mae told me not to feel so responsible for everyone and everything. She probably doesn’t even remember saying it. People have been telling me that same thing for years—ever since we lost Bridgette. Yet, that one night with Ella Mae cracked through something I thought was impenetrable. My guilt doesn’t feel as ominous as it had before then. It’s still here, just less intense.
Ella Mae fits in with Alex, Courtney and Kassie so seamlessly. We eat our pizzas around their dining table, laughing and sharing stories until Courtney announces it’s Kassie’s bedtime.
“I want Miss Ella Mae to read me my story,” Kassie says with the whine of a child who’s ready for bed.
I’m about to jump in to spare Ella Mae having to say no to a near stranger, when Ella Mae says, “I’d be glad to read to you, if it’s okay with your mom.”
“Can she, Mommy?”
“Sure. That would be fine.”
Kassie makes the rounds, giving me a big hug, then hugging her dad, and then Ella Mae and Courtney walk with Kassie down the hall to her bedroom.
“... and she reads bedtime stories,” Alex says with a smirk. “You should see your face right now. Wipe that drool off your chin.”
He laughs. I don’t deny it at all.
I’m gone for this woman. Completely gone.
“Ahhhh. I see it now. You didn’t know she liked kids, did you?”
I have nothing to say. He’s right. Ella Mae never struck me as the maternal type. I don’t know why. She’s cared for me more than most people. When she sees someone in need, she jumps in without a second thought. She looks out for Meg. She’s far more responsible than most people give her credit for—than I ever gave her credit for before I got to know her better.
She’d make a fun and creative mom—if motherhood’s something she wants for herself. I don’t know if it is. I wouldn’t push a family on her. I’d be happy being the best uncle in the world if she were by my side, sharing life with me. Those thoughts should send me reeling. They don’t. I’m thirty-two—and I had all but given up on the idea of actually settling down with someone. I don’t know when it happened, but I can easily envision a future with Ella Mae, and it’s a future I’m willing to work to pursue.
CHAPTER38
Chris
Saturday morning,I’m turning the corner onto my street from a run. I see the car before I see the man leaning back against it. My dad’s Audi S3 sits parked squarely in front of my home. It’s an ambush.
Yes. I’ve been avoiding him. I don’t usually take that tack with confrontation. I’m a soldier to my core. But this is one battle I hoped to evade or postpone. Welp. Now the time of reckoning has arrived.
I jog up to my dad, who is casually scrolling on his phone.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Hey, Chris. Thought we might have a chat. You free for about a half-hour?”
“I’m free. Wanna come in?”
“I do.”
I turn and jog up to my front door. Dad follows me in.
“Let me just hop in a quick shower so you don’t have to deal with me post-workout. I’ll be out in three. Help yourself to anything to drink in the fridge.”
Dad nods. I turn to shower and change. Another perk of military life is the ability to be ready in a split second when needed. I’m back out with dad in under three minutes. He’s sitting on my couch, a glass of water on the side table next to him.
