Page 91 of Ripped & Shipped
“Yeah. Just trim it up for me, if you would.”
Laura and I chat about life and the adoption process she and Rob are going through. Then the conversation turns to the reception for Brooks and Gabriela in Cincinnati.
Our conversation is cut short by the arrival of three of our seniors: Mabel, Esther, and a woman we all call Memaw, even though she’s only officially Lexi and Felicia’s grandma.
“Oh! Chris!” Mabel shouts as the door shuts behind them. “I’ve been hoping to run into you!”
Mabel walks over to Laura’s chair and Laura spins me so I can face Mabel.
And then, in a voice that can probably be heard two shops down in each direction, Mabel asks, “When did you and Ella Mae start dating?”
Laura drops her scissors. Her mouth flies open and she stands there, staring at me like I just grew a second head. Not only Laura. The whole shop goes still. Every eye is trained on me. I’m cornered, and I’m caught off guard, which isn’t a usual experience for me. I’ve been going soft with Ella Mae filling my thoughts and time.
I take a breath. Assess the situation.
Never react. Always respond.
When I finally speak, my voice is calm and steady. “It’s new.”
“I know!” Mabel exclaims. “I see everything Ella Mae does online. She’s my guru, or whatever you want to call her. She helps me so much with my dance tutorials. She even bought me a ring light!”
“You need more than a ring light,” Esther mumbles under her breath.
Mabel ignores Esther and continues talking to me. “And isn’t it exciting?”
“What?” I take the bait.
“Ella Mae going to California to attend that party with DrakesDaMan?”
“How do you know about DrakesDaMan?”
“He’s huge on the YouTube. Ella Mae did the cutest little stunt with him a few weeks ago on her page. Well, that was after her dinner out with you,” Mabel pauses, and then with emphasis, she says, “Big Boy.”
Did Mabel just call me Big Boy?
“You saw our dinner?”
“Of course I did. Ella Mae helps me with my TikTok channel. I watch all her videos and posts just so I can learn how to gain traction on my socials.”
“Traction on your socials,” I echo.
“You know it. I’ve got four thousand followers now. And I’m growing all the time.”
This online life is like a cult.
Next thing I know, my dad’s going to want to be on TikTok to spread the word about his accounting business. Take me back to the days when phones were connected to the walls. Everything was so much simpler.
Memaw walks over to Angie’s chair. “I think it’s wonderful you and Ella Mae are gettin’ together. Let bygones be bygones, I always say.”
“When did you ever say that?” Esther asks.
“All the time. And you’d know it if you’d give in and get yourself some hearing aids. Half the time you think I’m saying something that sounds so absurd. Why would I say,Bill and I got an outhouse?What would we need an outhouse for when our toilets work just fine? Can you imagine me strutting into the back yard in the middle of the night just to relieve myself? I’m tellin’ you Esther. It’s time. Trust an old friend and take the plunge. Get yourself some hearing aids.”
“I’m sorry,” Esther replies calmly. “I couldn’t hear a thing you just said.”
She gives Memaw a meaningful glance and Memaw rolls her eyes heavenward and purses her lips.
I’m relieved they’ve gone off on one of their usual tangents. There’s nothing like a distraction to take the focus off a conversation that should never have happened. I chide myself for being unprepared. After Duke confronted me, it was obvious people had seen me in Ella Mae’s home. And that means the rumor mill is already flowing like a marble run.
