Page 60 of Slow Burn
“You gave me everything you could then. Now, you give me everything else. And I give you everything this time too, honey. I am getting it right, building that fairytale. Dating the fuck out of you.” As he had every previous night, he took me home, kissed me at the door and let me see Amelia. I got lingering goodnight kisses, but he kept his promise for weeks.
He dated the fuck out of me.
We did everything new couples do. Bonus: we knew one another like an old married couple. Levi did everything to make it just about us. Just Brynn and Levi. Until the first Friday I was home. That day, was about us. Our family. My Princess and my king.
Levi picked me up with Amelia and took us out to see the Winter Fest. I held my little Princess and kissed my king and it was magical. We shared hot cocoa with Lola, Hunter and the kids and I could reach out and grasp my fairytale in my hands.
“What do you want to do, besides be her mom and my woman?” Levi asked that night while we lay in bed.
“I want to build things. Like I promised my brother we would do together. I chose it because I love it.” Just like that, I knew what else I wanted to be: a designer. One who built homes for families to love and live in.
Like the one I missed sharing with Levi and Amelia.
Within a week, I had a design job—Deacon Cooper decided to purchase a shit ton of land and wanted to design some homes near his lake. Design and Amelia filled my days, Levi filled my nights and my life felt almost complete. Except when I woke up alone or without the sound of my daughter just across the hall.
I was ready to come home to my king and my perfect Princess.
Instead of going to the condo after an afternoon at Lola and Gigi's studio—where they set up a corner for my drafting board and mess I called templates—I went home. I let myself in with the key I still had and headed for the kitchen. I'd been here once or twice since being back—we even fucked on the couch one night after the GOT season finale—but it wasn't the same. I wanted to be here when he came home.
“That you, Husband?” Levi told me once her voice was like ice creeping through his veins. I'd heard it just once before, but could confirm that.
“Yeah, no. Evening Isabel.” I had feared her once, for reasons I still didn't understand, but not anymore.
I found her in the kitchen, her high heels clicking on the slate floor as she paced. Amelia sat in her high chair, her favorite cereal puffs scattered over the top. However, my little Princess' fat little lip was jutting out, her beautiful blue eyes watery with unshed tears. Broke my fucking heart. I didn't even hesitate; I crossed the room towards her and she let out a cry, lifting her arms in the air for me.
“Hey Princess. How's my girl?” I was absolutely confused, borderline murderous, but I was not about to let my little girl—and certainly not that whore—see that.
“Your girl? Fairly certain I pushed that little girl out of my vag, honey. She's my little girl.” I laughed; barked it into the air, leveling a look at her.
I can feel the anger, the disgust, the resentment I feel for her cut through me; each sharper and deeper than the last. Isabel had Levi, had his last name. But it wasn't enough. Then she had his daughter and she couldn't be bothered to give her anything, not even a name. She was no mother. I was startled to see her here, in the space I had made our home, but I wasn't as shaken as she thought I would be.
What I am is livid. At her for being in this space, but at Levi for not telling me she was back. We hadn't heard a word from her in almost five months and I'd honestly hoped it stayed that way. There had to be an ulterior motive for her coming here, now. The darkest part of me, just briefly made me wonder; all the nights he left me to come home, all the times I could have just come with them. Was this why? Was Isabel the reason?
As I turned to face her, to respond to her comment, I saw it. Saw the flash of feigned confidence, the way she fixed her features into calm disinterest. Isabel was playing at something, I had no doubt. She didn't know who she was up against. Coming for my family would bring us to war with one another. I'd made the mistake of walking away once, not fighting for my family. I wouldn't make that same mistake again.
“Funny. A mother, she usually loves and provides for her child. Names her. A mother does not set an infant in someone's arms and vanish for nine months.” I was surprised at myself, at the venom in my voice as I glared at her.
“Who are you, again?” Isabel knew my name, knew who I was, I had no doubt.
“You know who I am. I'm the woman who's raised your daughter since you couldn't be bothered to. Why are you here, now? In our house?” I brushed my lips over Amelia's soft head, trying to draw strength from the tiny little Princess.
“Excuse me, your house? Honey, my name is on the deed not yours. This is my house. My family. My husband. I made a mistake walking away...” I laugh again, the sound hollow and icy cold as it cuts through the room.
“No, honey,” I curve the word with disgust, glaring at her, “You made a mistake coming back. You abandoned him and then you abandoned her. You were not here for her when she cried, when she got sick, when she needed to be held and bathed and put to bed at night. And you weren't here for him while he became a father, while he changed his life for her. And you won't be here for them now.” I move past her to head down the hall when she delivers her blows.
“Think again, honey. That little Princess.... isn't even Levi's. Didn't tell you that, did he? Didn't tell you I came weeks ago to let him know I wanted my daughter. That I made a mistake and I want to be her mother. I mean, if he wants to be part of her life, I guess.... but you, honey, have no place.” Isabel was a lovely girl; curves for days, pretty smile, glossy reddish hair. But she was so ugly I could see nothing but the petty, pathetic woman she was.
“Try and take our girl from us. Not only will we fight you, we will win. You don't know a single thing about parenting, and I'm guessing even less about the law. Abandonment in this day and age, the courts think none too kindly of it. That paperwork you left with Levi, documenting how she came early, spent a month in NICU, and still left the hospital without a name? And the diaper bag not even enough to get him through a weekend? Evidence of neglect.” I felt a lot less stoic than my tirade came off, and I was grateful because Isabel looked shaken.
“Who are you?” Isabel repeated, her eyes darting around as if the answer might be hanging somewhere.
And, it was. Our life was in this house, now. It had stung those first few weeks as her memory ghosted the shadows and corners. Then we made it ours. I thought once I might want to move, build us a home. And, maybe we would. But this wasn't our home because of the gray walls we painted together or the owls in Amelia's room that were meant to be us. This was our home because the love we made here, the laughs with our little Princess, the dinners we fell in love over, the bedroom we slept in, woke up in. I was everywhere, and she was nowhere at all.
“I am Amelia's mother. Levi's future. They are my family. You can do your best to change that, but I think we both know you won't win. Give it your best shot, though.” And, although it was my castle, and I'd slayed the dragon, I take my Princess and leave.
I am not sure why I left. Maybe because I was angry. Or scared. Because I did know a thing or two about the law. My parents were lawyers, after all. Not everything I said was complete bullshit. But, still...the possibility of her taking my daughter, her daughter, was real. I felt panicked and scared.
Before I knew what I was doing, I was on the L. Heading away from our neighborhood and towards Ladder 71. I needed to see Levi. To ask why he had not thought to warn me Isabel was back. That she wanted to take our daughter from us. That our daughter might not even be ours.
